Ronjs - I want you to know that I have walked the walk you have. I know the terrible depression that strikes through all of this. I remember sifting through all my husbands stuff to find evidence (but he was SO good at hiding it all), eventually my pastor got it out of him. He promised to stop - I caught them together. I nearly went crazy, insane, up, down, anger, sadness, begging, pleading, it was too terrible and so i understand. Ron please seek Godly council from your Church or through a Christian counsellor soon ok. Satan can use this situation to destroy you and we know he comes to lie, cheat and STEAL so FIGHT BACK. God knows what your wife has or has not done. HE will judge you and he will protect you too. Ronjs, it is hard but while you have a right to divorce her due to adultery, Christ calls us to forgive and seek reconcilliation. Focus on YOU right now, focus on being the Godly husband that Christ calls you to be. Dont focus on her and what she has done. Focus on YOU. Pray for her, and as hard as it is pray for the other man (believe me this was HARD for me to do - but I would not let her have anymore power over me) and Ronjs, BELIEVE, BELIEVE in the power of God. I will pray for you ok. May God protect your heart. AMEN.

Father, in the name of Jesus I pray for Ron and his wife and this holy marriage made in your site. I ask for healing for Ron's heart and truth to be made known to him. I pray that if it is not too late you would heal their relationship, that they would both see that nothing is impossible with You, Lord. I pray for a new intimacy between them, bring good out of this situation. Thank you that you love them both and if his wife has acted improperly in the situation, please convict her of it. If adultery is involved I pray that you would have mercy on them both and heal what is broken. While not all marriages can be saved, I believe Father that you honor this marriage covenant, and you would have it made whole. We bless you Father and glorify you in this difficult and painful time. Let your peace flood our brother as he seeks you first in all this, leaving his wife into your hands for your good and perfect work. Bless him, comfort him and help him, Jesus.

Please Lord if there is unfaithfulness please speak to Ron, and reveal it "Truthful words stand the test of time, but lies are soon exposed." Proverbs 12:19
if it be your will heal the marriage Lord I pray that your hand be upon this , and that your will be done. "The LORD detests lying lips,
but he delights in those who tell the truth."
Proverbs 12:22

I also have been in similar situation as yourself, as poster below too; it is devastating to the psyche when a spouse has no desire to work on a marriage, this is not how or Whom Jesus Is though, so do not loose faith.
The Lord God Is Faithful, HE Is our Eternal Spouse. True friends & loved ones are honest & supportive, they do not desire to fight or cause dissension in relationships. Love is powerful, healing, good, it moves us forward in life. There are those that are born with inability to love, commit ongoing. Never loose faith in HIM, or yourself, that you are worthy of God's Salvation, His Love, stability with the friendships of those that genuinely care for & about you.
I experienced a marriage that was wrought early on with trouble because the man I married did not care at all about me but for himself, though he professed love, his hard was waxed cold. Do not allow this lie of dissent to move you from your path with Jesus Christ. There are wonderful people in the world, & genuine friends. Move toward The Light of Christ. I pray for your healing & continued support. God Bless.

(05-15-2011 09:41 AM)JW123 Wrote:  Ronjs - I want you to know that I have walked the walk you have. I know the terrible depression that strikes through all of this. I remember sifting through all my husbands stuff to find evidence (but he was SO good at hiding it all), eventually my pastor got it out of him. He promised to stop - I caught them together. I nearly went crazy, insane, up, down, anger, sadness, begging, pleading, it was too terrible and so i understand. Ron please seek Godly council from your Church or through a Christian counsellor soon ok. Satan can use this situation to destroy you and we know he comes to lie, cheat and STEAL so FIGHT BACK. God knows what your wife has or has not done. HE will judge you and he will protect you too. Ronjs, it is hard but while you have a right to divorce her due to adultery, Christ calls us to forgive and seek reconcilliation. Focus on YOU right now, focus on being the Godly husband that Christ calls you to be. Dont focus on her and what she has done. Focus on YOU. Pray for her, and as hard as it is pray for the other man (believe me this was HARD for me to do - but I would not let her have anymore power over me) and Ronjs, BELIEVE, BELIEVE in the power of God. I will pray for you ok. May God protect your heart. AMEN.

---

typo: I meant to say my ex husband's heart was waxed cold/ his heart was hard & not seemingly malliable. He was a very angry & controlling man who decieved me horribly. I am however surrounded by those that do care now, & have no desire to fight or cause chaos in my life. Loss is difficult however you are better to get the help you need as God Is Light, & Shines Through the darkness.
Take care.

(05-17-2011 04:10 AM)Guest Wrote:  I also have been in similar situation as yourself, as poster below too; it is devastating to the psyche when a spouse has no desire to work on a marriage, this is not how or Whom Jesus Is though, so do not loose faith.
The Lord God Is Faithful, HE Is our Eternal Spouse. True friends & loved ones are honest & supportive, they do not desire to fight or cause dissension in relationships. Love is powerful, healing, good, it moves us forward in life. There are those that are born with inability to love, commit ongoing. Never loose faith in HIM, or yourself, that you are worthy of God's Salvation, His Love, stability with the friendships of those that genuinely care for & about you.
I experienced a marriage that was wrought early on with trouble because the man I married did not care at all about me but for himself, though he professed love, his hard was waxed cold. Do not allow this lie of dissent to move you from your path with Jesus Christ. There are wonderful people in the world, & genuine friends. Move toward The Light of Christ. I pray for your healing & continued support. God Bless.

(05-15-2011 09:41 AM)JW123 Wrote:  Ronjs - I want you to know that I have walked the walk you have. I know the terrible depression that strikes through all of this. I remember sifting through all my husbands stuff to find evidence (but he was SO good at hiding it all), eventually my pastor got it out of him. He promised to stop - I caught them together. I nearly went crazy, insane, up, down, anger, sadness, begging, pleading, it was too terrible and so i understand. Ron please seek Godly council from your Church or through a Christian counsellor soon ok. Satan can use this situation to destroy you and we know he comes to lie, cheat and STEAL so FIGHT BACK. God knows what your wife has or has not done. HE will judge you and he will protect you too. Ronjs, it is hard but while you have a right to divorce her due to adultery, Christ calls us to forgive and seek reconcilliation. Focus on YOU right now, focus on being the Godly husband that Christ calls you to be. Dont focus on her and what she has done. Focus on YOU. Pray for her, and as hard as it is pray for the other man (believe me this was HARD for me to do - but I would not let her have anymore power over me) and Ronjs, BELIEVE, BELIEVE in the power of God. I will pray for you ok. May God protect your heart. AMEN.

Yes, adultery is devastating and destroyed my first marriage. My ex refused to give up his girlfriend and lied continuously about how far they had really gone. I fought with all I had, but he filed and had me served. I had no choice but to hire a lawyer and watch the family God gave me be ripped to shreds by the sin which entrenched and entrapped my ex and his now fiance. I have since come to learn you cannot love enough for two people. Both must be committed and willing. If one is not, the Bible is clear that the innocent party is free to move on with my life. I have since met an amazing man, remarried and am loved and cherished beyond my wildest dreams. I also gained a daughter I never thought I would have (he has a 12 yr. old). Remember, God is faithful even when those we love are not. He stays by our side in our darkest most painful nights and when we are ready restores the broken hearted. A heart I believed broken forever. I am praying for you and your wife. My satan be bound. He is destroying so many marriages and families. May God bless you and give you hope when you feel there is none.

Still no remorse or confessions. It appears she loves her sins more than our marriage.

I thank you all for your prayers

God bless u all

Ron

Ronjs - your post inspires me and has helped me so much. I am now in the position where I have proof of a married woman with three little boys and a son from another marriage, who is running around with another man. I have covered them both in prayer and do so daily. I have prayed that she will wake up and return to her husband and confess all she is doing. It is SHAMEFUL. I dont know if God expects me to phone the husband and let him know who the other man is. I know I would have liked proof when my husband was running around. Given all Ronjs has said, I dont know what to do.

I believe that the husband has the right to know and also the facts. Perhaps best done through anonamously. I know that I would like to be told about it. Possibly a case of covering up sins if you don't. If you are 100 percent certain and after consulting the Lord Jesus then do it!

(05-20-2011 02:58 AM)JW123 Wrote:  Ronjs - your post inspires me and has helped me so much. I am now in the position where I have proof of a married woman with three little boys and a son from another marriage, who is running around with another man. I have covered them both in prayer and do so daily. I have prayed that she will wake up and return to her husband and confess all she is doing. It is SHAMEFUL. I dont know if God expects me to phone the husband and let him know who the other man is. I know I would have liked proof when my husband was running around. Given all Ronjs has said, I dont know what to do.

Yes, I too agree I would have wanted to know from a friend my husband was cheating instead of the horrible way I found out. He did leave and now is engaged to the woman he left me for. So much unavoidable pain if people would just take their vows of Better and Worse seriously...just because the grass appears greener, it still has to be mowed...I think God was pretty serious or there would not be a commandment and numerous chapters in the Bible warning against it and condemning it! I will continue to pray for this situation and all those who have posted the hurtful realities of facing divorce and infidelity. Funny to me how much can change in a marriage from the hopeful wedding day to the day one spouse turns and breaks the covenant between themselves and God...I just don't get it.

The Bible says to flee from temptation....not amble away. Many guilty partners involved in adultery have not put the carnal nature to death and are not walking in the Holy Spirit. When we lose our closeness to God satan will set them up. Adultery/divorce, IMHO is the greatest weapon in satan's arsenal. The person then comes into bondage and it is very difficult to them to break out of it/give up their sins. Adultery effects the other spouse and children, hence my belief that it is the most destructive attack on Christian families.

The Bible clearly warns us what we let into our heart via our eyes. How many professed Christians today turn the channel over or switch the TV off when lurid sexual scenes are shown. We are not meant to be of this world. We are not meant to participate in what non believers do. We are to work out our salvation with fear and trembling.

The Bible frequently mentions adultery, sexual immorality. I believe the churches today do not preach the reminders/warnings. We see a candy coated gospel when a fire and brimstone sermon should be preached. The churches are cold to lukewarm. Churches should be bringing warnings and convictions to the sheep.

My wife still refuses to confess and repent of her sexual immorality. I am to the point where I say to Him I don't know whether the marriage is worth saving with her attitude. I would rather separate than live a married life which is a lie!

You see she loves her sins more than our marriage and more than God.

May God richly bless you all for your prayers, words of wisdom and comfort.

Cheers from Australia

Ron

(05-20-2011 07:53 AM)Guest Wrote:  Yes, I too agree I would have wanted to know from a friend my husband was cheating instead of the horrible way I found out. He did leave and now is engaged to the woman he left me for. So much unavoidable pain if people would just take their vows of Better and Worse seriously...just because the grass appears greener, it still has to be mowed...I think God was pretty serious or there would not be a commandment and numerous chapters in the Bible warning against it and condemning it! I will continue to pray for this situation and all those who have posted the hurtful realities of facing divorce and infidelity. Funny to me how much can change in a marriage from the hopeful wedding day to the day one spouse turns and breaks the covenant between themselves and God...I just don't get it.