Ouida, if you are going to help others as a social worker, you need to care for yourself first. This is something I have struggled with myself. All of my life, I have taken care of others but not myself, first as a nurse now as a counsellor. I am glad to hear that you are feeling better. Have you seeked out counseling for yourself? It sounds like others have really hurt you and that you're in a lot of pain. It was really brave of you to seek out help here. One thing that God advises us to do is to forgive others. This doesn't mean that you have to continue to be hurt by those who have hurt you. You may need to cut them out if your life for some period of time, or even permanently. Forgiveness is a gift to yourself. We only re-victimize ourselves when we hold on and think about the hurt over and over again. Forgiveness is the way Hod gave to us to release the pain. I ask that God watches over you and blesses you. May He help you overcome the pain and anguish you feel. I ask that He helps you turn to Him instead of the bottle. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.