Thank you all. The devil knows I am weak and he has so many strong holds on me from my major depressive disorder, my alcohol dependency issue, my lack of love for myself And family or social support and due to how I feel everyday I can't get up to make it to church at all for spiritual support. And now that I have this support I have been reading psalms everyday since I made the initial post and I'm certain he'll tempt me again or try some other force to control me. I pray to mourn Kevin who I'm sure was the devil sent for no man hurt me more and destroyed my relationship with my sister since he is her brother in law through her marriage. But I pray I can mourn and forgive him and that I can mourn my sister too. My anger for them both with last forever. But at least I am not waking up anymore wanting to committ suicide. Thank you all for your support and your prayers. I needed them and so much. May god bless you all and please continue to keep me in your prayers. In Jesus name amen.