I was serving The Lord 30 months ago and I stopped going to church and I let everything go.
At that time I met a woman( an aquaintance) who said she had been in love with me for quite some time.
She was definitely out of the Lords will for me.
I liked her and I liked how much she liked me.
Of course it was not going to turn out well for me. It turns out that she was a heroin/speed addict. She also had drug convictions pending. She also had an ex boyfriend with more money than me.
So, she nearly ruined me financially because I had to fund her habits. Then she needed a lawyer, so she thought, that she could not afford so she started dating her ex boyfriend to get the money from him, supposedly not having sex with him.
And I let it all happen and I fit the bill.
Finally she gets the money and stops seeing the guy and she gets her lawyer(that made absolutely no difference) and she gets sentenced. I took her child while she was locked up for three months and I paid big for her to be comfortable in jail. One day I go to visit her and she's not there, she's on work release at her ex boyfriends fruit stand. I thought I was going to die right there in the jail.
It turns out I let her work there while in jail to my humiliation.
Finally she got out of jail and wanted to move closer to me. I found a house and moved her whole house an hour away to the new house.
At this time it turns out she was ill with kidney stones and she is one miserable person to be with. We're not living together. Impossible.
It was not her fault she got sick but it cost me 2500 dollars just in expenses. And of course the house didn't work out and she wanted to go home. I loaded the house and hauled it back to her old house.
She was sober when she got out of jail but because they had her on pain medication she relapsed back into her old addiction. And she's on heavy probation with a 4 year suspended sentence hanging over her head. She's skeegling the system.
Finally I had enough and in a fit of anger I called probation and reported her.
Probation took it seriously and put her in a half way house. She finally got sober after 2 1/2 years.
It's been about a month. She grew distant and then two days ago she stopped communication with me. I'm heartbroken and confused and I feel sick.
I had not slept in two days and I got into an accident in a intersection this evening.
I know it's time to move on. I know that sounds comical but I love her. I know she doesn't love me. She says I made myself a victim because I stayed with her.
I'm not a drug user. I do not drink or smoke. I'm a backslidden Christian and a giant fool.
I'm praying The Lord intervene soon. I assume it's over. I won't go back to her. God, give me strength.
This is me, very loyal. Very, one woman man. I do not like to start relationships. I believed she was mine.
I don't know how I sound but I want to be delivered so bad. I'm so hurt. I'm wiped out. I'm all out of fight. I'm exhausted and my spirit is broken. I beg The Lord to deliver me. In Jesus name.

Dear Eric please do not call yourself a fool, you loved her. and remember addicts are super manipulators. If she told you you mDe yourself a victim... She is NOT in recovery, that sounds like her gilt and she has to put it back on you so she does not have to take any responsibility. She needs to b in and work a program. I pray that she can get healthy, but it does not sound like she is now. You might try an alanon meeting, but you might try to just continue to talk to god about it. This girl has on fact hurt you. She must be either wanting to use again, or she might be finding some other way to substitute her addictions. I'm sure you know to take care of yourself, but just in case.....take care of you ! God loves you and might just be saving you from the next crisis. There is a prayer chZt page on guideposts.org that is pretty good you need it. May god bless you and keep you. I pray you will find comfort and peace. I've been where you are.... It stinks to put it mildly .I'm sorry for your pain. If you take her back, which you might because...you love her, pray everyday throughout the day for guidance . Bless you.

(10-23-2014 08:29 PM)Iowaprayer Wrote:  Dear Eric please do not call yourself a fool, you loved her. and remember addicts are super manipulators. If she told you you mDe yourself a victim... She is NOT in recovery, that sounds like her gilt and she has to put it back on you so she does not have to take any responsibility. She needs to b in and work a program. I pray that she can get healthy, but it does not sound like she is now. You might try an alanon meeting, but you might try to just continue to talk to god about it. This girl has on fact hurt you. She must be either wanting to use again, or she might be finding some other way to substitute her addictions. I'm sure you know to take care of yourself, but just in case.....take care of you ! God loves you and might just be saving you from the next crisis. There is a prayer chZt page on guideposts.org that is pretty good you need it. May god bless you and keep you. I pray you will find comfort and peace. I've been where you are.... It stinks to put it mildly .I'm sorry for your pain. If you take her back, which you might because...you love her, pray everyday throughout the day for guidance . Bless you.

Thank you for your reply. I'm in a low place. As time passes, although just a couple of days, I am seeing more and more what she is. I will not be going back to her when she comes calling.
Thank you again.