i have been suicidal since i was 8 years old. crazy i know. but i attempted it in april and obviously it didnt work. my grandfather molested me and my mother never cared. i still constantly think about suicide. very close to trying harder this time. i need help. although i have pretty much shunned religion from my life. my grandparents forced the bible down my throat my whole life. this is kinda new. im 16 and want to die. now.

lovingly father!
JESUS please completely take care of this child thoughts....let your power rule over your child.....give peace in this child life.....remove every obstacles.... JESUS bless her please please .....in JESUS name i pray amen....

Dear Courtney,

Please remember that God DOES love you although that is sometimes difficult for us to believe when we've gone through such horrifying experiences. I realize everything looks very grim in your life right now but all of your experiences are going to make you a strong and powerful woman. You will have the knowledge and ability to help others in pain. I, too, grew up fearing God (not fear in the "honor" regard but in the "frightened" regard) as we attended a Southern Baptist church where the pastor screamed as he used the antiquated fire and brimstone approach. As you learn more about the Bible and God's true ways, you will begin to feel better and and have a much better understanding. It is hard, but God's ways are not our ways. He loves you know matter what. He is right behind you guiding you if you allow Him. Please explore different churches in your city and find one with a good teen bible study. Check into speaking with a faith-based counselor. Please hang on. Spiritual growth is a lifelong process. I felt a lot like you did at your age and I am now old enough to be your Mom and I cannot tell you what I have been through but I am still here only because I believe! Check out some of Pastor Andy Stanley's messages. He spent years as a youth pastor and always has good advice. Courtney, please know that I will be praying for you. I know you are going to pull through! God bless you and write me anytime!

Love and blessings,
Cheryl

P.S. This is what Joseph said to his brothers after they severely mistreated him. He had a rough life too but with God's help, he pulled through and was a huge success:

Genesis 50:20 As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today.

http://illustratedbible.net/new_page_5.htm

Oops! Forgot to add Pastor Andy Stanley's web link. Here you go!

http://www.northpoint.org/messages

Courtney, God loves You very much. I am sorry that your life has not been happy. Please don't leave this world. I am sure that you will make it a better place. God had a reason for you to be here. Why don't you wait around and find out what it is. I'm sorry your grandparents tried to force the Bible on you. Take time and set down and talk to the Lord. He will help you. The Bible is his word that we must live by. I don't understand alot in it. But I believe every word of it. Knowing Jesus is a personel relationship between you and Him.No one else knows your heart like him. I have done so many things wrong in my life. One of my biggest regrets is that I waited until I was 26 to know the Lord. I could have been working for him. I will pray for you. But please,don't leave this world. Maybe you were meant to be the mother of a great president. Maybe you are gonna save someone's life. Maybe you, if you give Jesus a chance, will be a great prayer warrior.

Please Lord,touch this child. Bring happiness to her. Let her see that You love her so much. Give her the desire not to leave this world. Lord, please take all thoughts of suicide away. Lord, please guide her through her life. In this I ask in Your name,Jesus.Amen.

Amen, Tisha!

We all love and care, Courtney!

Courtney you have a purpose on earth and you are an amazing person and im sure you can find reasons to live and im sure you will one day have a family of your own and you can see how important it is to live your life and to try and be happy even when its hard.

Courtney,
I pray that you are here on this webpage right now. I want to talk to you about your choices. I am now 46 years old. I am a writer of the book, "Come Walk In My Lost Shoes." I wrote that book to give hope to young people such as yourself.
Courtney, I have been on my own since I was 12 years old. I have been raped, beaten, mentally abused, physically abused, talked about, lied on, lied to, threatened, and once left for dead.
Sweety, many people ask, how did you survive all of that? I was through the grace and mercy of God.
My mother was a heroine addict, and my father died when I was seven years old.
One of the most important things that I learned through my ordeals, was how to read and pray. I began a personal relationship with Jesus. He became my reason for living. I didn't care about my life. But, I cared about the life that was sacrificed to give me hope.
He became my hope, my reason for living. I made it a goal and purpose in my life to tell as many people about Him as I could, because He revealed Himself to me in my heart.
This life is not perfect. The choices that we sometimes make can cause us to do some pretty stupid things, I know I did. But, one of the wonderful things about God is, He forgives.
I did a lot of things out of ignorance.
But, once I began to study His word, I received understanding for my real purpose in life. I have allowed Him to use my body and my mouth to praise, worship, testify to others, and save many lives.
I am still a long way from being perfect. I won't be completely perfect until I am in my immortal body, at home with my Father and my brother Jesus.
Hey, I still have problems that cause me to cry. I still get angry at my sometimes dysfunctional life. But, I continue to trust Jesus and the Holy Spirit to show me how to deal with this mess until He calls me home to glory.
If I had've taken my own life when I was feeling mentally tormented, I would have given satan just what he wanted; my soul. I refuse to give him the victory over my life.
I refuse to allow the very person that caused all of my hurt and pain to have the last say on whether I live or die.
I began to ask God for the power and authority over satan. Sure enough, He gave it to me.
I went back to school at 23 years old, got my GED, and went back to college and became a computer specialist. I am now a grandmother with 13 grandchildren.
If I would have given satan the victory back then, I wouldn't be here to tell you my story today.
You are welcome to go to the library and they will get a copy of my book for you.
But, you must not give satan victory over your life. He is going to and fro in the earth sweety, seeking whom he may devour. Don't let him devour you.
I pray that one day, you will be the one telling another child your story of survival in Christ.
Yes, I still have bad days, but the good days outweigh the bad. I just have to pray a little harder.
I am dealing with so much right now in my own life, that the average person probably couldn't handle it. But, I'm not just any average person. I am a person that has Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. I am a child that has God for a Father. He is a loving Father that cares for the outcome. He wants me to have the victory, as well as you!
Now, the choice to exept Him into your life is strictly yours. He doesn't force Himself on anyone. But, I know that it was the best choice that I could ever make.
See, I noticed that you said, "The bible was forced on you." Well, my family didn't care about dealing with God. They were alcoholics, gamblers, drug dealers, and kids were not there number one priority. We just sort of fend for ourselves. We were at each others mercy, so to speak.
I share my experiences with many young people, because I want them to understand that there is hope. It may not seem like it when you are fighting depression and satan is attacking your hopes and dreams. But, the bible calls him the father of lies. He is a lier Courtney! Don't fall for his tricks. He wants to destroy you so that God can't use you. You see, God don't want him, so he doesn't want God to bless you.
You will one day be more successful than you can ever imagine, if you put God as #1 priority over your life.
I am here for you my dear. You can email me whenever you need a sister to call on.
I know that it can get rough sometimes. But, just know that you are not alone.

Father God,
I ask right now that You would bind satan away from Your child. Do not allow him to hurt this child in any shape, form or fashion.
Father, surround this child with Your hedge of protection. Send Your Holy Spirit to comfort this dear soul. I ask this prayer in Jesus Holy Name. Amen!

Father my sister said it all. I can just stand in awe to hear how great You are. Courtney if you want your life to change you came to the right place. God have so much love for you that you will not believe it. Listen to the wisdom of the ones how gave you advise on this web page because they live their live close to the Heavenly Father.

Oh Heavenly Father put your loving arms around Courtney and let her feel you are comforting and loving her. Give her the peace that surpasses all understanding, give her a hunger for you and your word. May it fill her whole being and open her eyes. Bring her out of that dark tunnel she feels in at this moment, and give her a reason for living. May her cup overflows with your joy. My Lord and Savior just as you did for me in my darkest times do for her too. May she someday look back and see how you were there with her all through it. I pray and thank you in advance in Jesus Christ Precious Name, always giving you all the Honor and the Glory Heavenly Father to whom all power belongs, Amen!
Courtney I too had the bible forced down my throat when I was growing up. My father was a minister, and I was supposed to be the example for the rest of the kids in church. It turned me off for over twenty years, until I too hit bottom. But if it had not been because I remember what the bible tells us of God's love for us, and I turned to it specially to the book of Psalms which has become my favorite book for it pulled me out of my misery in those dark moments. I tell you if it were not for the bible and the spark of faith that it brought into my life, I would not be alive today. Now as an old lady I still turn to the God and his word in my time of need. It has become the living waters of my soul. Remember God is not like the people around us. He loves us no matter what we may have done. He never condemns us, he delivers us from all our sins and addictions, all we have to do is cry out to him and believe as a little child believes in fairy tales, and he will be there for us and help us at all times. May these holidays bring you have a good reason to celebrate the birth of Christ and the New Year be a new life for you in Christ. Give all your heart and love to God and see miracles happening in your life.
Please read below, you may not see this now, but someday you will understand and see it so clearly.
Footprints in the Sand
One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there was one only.
This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat, I could see only one set of footprints, so I said to the Lord,
“You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you, you would walk with me always. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there has only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most, have you not been there for me?”
The Lord replied, “The years when you have seen only one set of footprints, my child, is when I carried you.”