Hello.
I don't do this much, and I'm sorry for just jumping in here with this, but I can't just keep this to myself.
I believe I have depression. How long, I don't know. I've always had issues with self-image. Always trying to improve myself. Always trying to be as good as I can. Always trying to put God first. Sinning, like everyone else, of course, but always desiring forgiveness and help to do better next time.
Only none of that matters.
My issues with self-image have gone down a really steep hill. I have two brothers, both close to my age. The oldest has always been the leader; the middle of us, the adventurer; while I, being the youngest, took up creativity and general intelligence. That's how it's been since the three of us were kids, but now... now I feel dumb. The oldest of us works in space; the middle of us oversees a significant part of a large summer camp for kids, and I... live with our parents. With no college education. No skills to speak of. No real friends to see. I've become the dumb one, and even the middle of we brothers is smarter than I am, and he didn't go to college, either.
As for personal skills (you know, that one weird thing you tend to be best at among those you know), I have none besides being really good at video games. Only now, to add insult to injury, someone I know who's 6 years younger than I am has taken that spot. That leaves me with nothing. No good job. No good opportunities. Not even one weird skill that can give me a smile every now and then.
I've always been a Christian. Always believed in God as long as I can remember. Read the Bible a lot. Taken part in studies. Served where I can. But I feel ignored by God. I lift up my sorrows, but nothing happens. I ask for help, none arrives. I ask forgiveness for whatever sins I commit, I feel like I am punished still. Cast in the corner to be addressed last, like I am in everything else in life. With nothing to provide even token comfort.
In short, I feel alone. Deeply, depressingly, alone. I don't know what to do anymore. I know it's selfish, but could I get some prayers sent my way? I believe I am in need of them.