(12-09-2011 07:03 AM)Guest Wrote:  Dear guest, I will pray for you that God leads you into His truths. I pray that you would reconsider how important a marriage is to God, especially if there are children to consider. God loves you and He doesn't want you being abused, but on the other hand He wouldn't be happy if you were abusing your husband either. Did you ever stop to think that you having this "online" friend is part of the problem? How can you say that he is everything your husband is not, such as: he has integrity if you have never even met this man face to face. For all you know, this man could be a woman, or a rapist, or a.... You don't know!!

I've been there done that before too. I have also been married for over 30 years. I've been in an abusive relationship, so I know. I also know God is faithful. If you are truly seeking for truth, then search the scriptures. God will give you the direction in which you need to follow in your life. You just need to listen to Him and trust Him with it.

God bless you guest and I pray your journey will become everything God would have it be. If you walk in Christ and put and keep Him in the center of your marriage, you and hubby both, then you will both be complete in Him. This would take the two of your working for the same common goal. Remember, God must be in the center. If you are not a Christian, then I pray that you would become one and if you are and your husband is not, then I pray that you would continue to pray for his salvation.

The husband is he head of the house as Christ is the head of the Church, and the husband should love his wife as Christ loves the church.

In Jesus Name, Amen...

Guest, I am a Christian. I've been married for 19 years and known my husband for 21. I have never been unfaithful and have always been the traditional wife. I have already raised two kids and am now raising my grandson who is almost 4. I stay at home and take care of the house single handed and also have a small business that I run out of my home. I am about as traditional as it gets. I am not making enough money to leave right now but am working on it. I don't believe if a relationship brings you down to the point of suicide that it is worth it. To be honest if I had to do it again I never would have married him. I now realize that you cannot love someone enough for them to change. It is a waste of time. I'm not asking for perfect since I am not but I don't deserve to be made to feel like I am an inconvenience.

As an example my husband flipped a biscuit because I asked him for 2 minutes of his time, literally. He wanted to go on the computer and then go to bed. Then he is in the laundry room. So I ask him I thought you had no time yet you are here in the laundry room? I called him a hypocrite and I'm not sorry either. He always does this to me making me feel unwanted and not important. I want to be loved for a change and I will not spend the rest of my life like this. I know the value of marriage and if my husband knew the value of marriage then perhaps he wouldn't treat me like he does.

As for the friend. I know he is a man. I am not a cheater and was not on some dating or chat website. I came across his theological videos and I still say he has great integrity. He is not perfect and I really don't know him but he seems like a very Godly man to me. And I hardly talk to him anymore since we both agreed to keep a safe distance since I am married. About a year ago he was there for me when I was at the brink of suicide because of my husband. My marriage problems existed way before I ever came across this man. So the friend is not part of the problem. My marriage is the problem.

---

(12-09-2011 04:12 PM)paula0331 Wrote:  amen. i was in the same situation i only wanted u to go to that site if u wanted to keep marriage. sorry was not trying to hurt u. i was beaten up called names, husband did porn, cheated on me. etc. did not work. my kids are in state care twins age 17 i always wanted to be a mother. my ex tried to get kids, alimoney and more and try to make me clinically insane. so i know what u r going through. sorry just thought if u wanted to keep your marriage u can go to those kirk cameron is awesome. i wanted someont to love me protect me and my kids and be there for me working etc. did not mean to offend u i love u amen

I know you were not trying to hurt me. I just don't agree with pat answers. Everyone's relationship is different and my husband knows what he needs to do. I spend most of my time alone and I think it is ridiculous when he gets angry just because I ask him for 2 minutes of his time, literally. If I am that unimportant to him then he can take a flying leap as far as I am concerned. You can't make someone love you or treat you kindly. Either they love you or they don't and I have learned from experience to look at people's behavior rather than just words.

My husband doesn't swear much but he does insult me at times and he did call me the B word a couple months ago. I let him have it so I don't think he will be doing that again. I've checked him out and he doesn't do any dirty website shopping and if he did or I ever proved that he cheated on me then he would be out the door. The locks would be changed and I would never take him back again. Same if he literally beat me up. My husband has done the occasional shoving but I fight back and he hardly ever does that. But, if he literally beat me up I would call the police and I would press charges and he would most definitely spend time in jail.

I would suggest to you that you not put up with any nonsense either and I would hope that God would send you a Godly man to love you the way it is supposed to be.