I've been there also and tried so many churches that I can't even count in my two hands. They all have cliques and are very judgmental, not friendly people at all, specially if you are of the older generation. But I have not let them turn me off God if anything I've gotten closer to God in my own way. I don't need a snob minister or group to lead me to my heavenly Father. It was Jesus who died at the cross for us, not people that believe in their man made doctrinations. I have found more descent and sincere people that don't attend church and have befriended me, these have been there for me when I needed them. So don't give up remember who died for your sins and keep loving God above all things Tom and the lord will recompense you with freedom to serve Him without being hurt, for they can kill us spiritually. These same people if Jesus were to visit their church today, they will turn on him and crucify him allover again.
Lord I believe the day is here on us already of when you said, the day will come when we will serve our heavenly Father in spirit and truth. Teach Tom to love you more than anything in his life, and not let those hypocrites playing church, or using the church as a social club hurt him spiritually. Bless him and direct his steps to where you will want him to have fellowship with. Make him strong of faith in you and in himself, and send him some real loving friends who loves you too. I pray in Jesus name, amen.