Mel, go to God and listen to Him. Regardless of Amber or anyone else if you and Anthony are meant to be together you will be. There is nothing that will be able to stop The Lord's Will from being done. If not I pray that you have a great friendship with him and that you will be blessed with the guy you are in fact meant to be with so my advise is go to God, listen to Him, don't try to force yourself not to love him, because you do, and just trust that God will protect your heart. I was very afraid of getting my heart broken again after a very painful separation and we ended up divorcing and spoke to a Christian Counselor, she told me that God doesn't want me to hurt again either. That gave me comfort. I pray for all of the blessings and Miracles in the world and trust God with your heart. He knows what's best.

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Also I thank God you did not hurt yourself. I have too had those feelings and many Christians have as well but Praise Him He got us through and I pray that we never go down that dark road again in Jesus name. Amen