I would recommend going to a professional Christian counselor to discuss your concerns & work it through. You have serious issues of trust between you, whether real or imagined, it needs to be dealt with head on; as to intimacy, a professional Christian trained will help you sort out issues & concerns of said nature.
You need support, to feel good about being the head of your family. It sounds like things are chaotic. A helper for you in this will clarify concerns. Mulling over, worrying about solves nothing.
Good Bless you & your marriage.

(05-02-2011 11:48 AM)ronjs Wrote:  Please continue to pray for the truth for me. My wife continues to deny adultery yet she looks very sheepish and ashamed. I have spoke mercifully and compassionately to her about it but still receive denials.

Recently she had a horrific nightmare that caused her great fear...The nightmare was that satan was sitting beside her on the edge of her bed and that he pinched her hard with his fingernails on her buttocks and laughed mockingly at her. I was not in bed at the time. She came to me terrified about this incident.

I have begged God to take away these strong feelings about my ? wife's unfaithfulness but they remain as strong as ever.
This has effected my trust in her. I have already caught her out in a lie that was concerning her masturbating herself and she lied so professionally and coolly about this when I knew without doubt that she had done this deed.

This is tearing my heart apart.

God bless you all

Ron