Young man, all sexual desire is hormone related. You can choose to remain celabate. Please consider reading The unhappy gays: what everyone should know about homosexuality by Tim Lehay. I believe that you can live a good life without crossing sexual boundaries that God has set. It is a mountain that you must climb, a river you must cross. We all face challenges in our lives but God did not give us a challenge that we could not pass, He equips us with the tools we need to overcome. It appears that God is calling you. Will you hear and will you answer. A minute of pleasure is not worth an hour in hell. This life is temporay and there is no sin worth risking our salvation for. Eternal life is real. As for me I would rather nothing under grace than everything under sin. I would rather not be born if I could not be born again. Sucide will not stop the pain, it will only worsen it. The bible says that to be absent from the body is to be present with Jesus Christ. Then comes the judgement. No one wants to threaten you or intimidate you. Jesus loves the sinner and hates the sin. He made you more than a conquerer by Christ Jesus. There are many organizations who will tell you you can be a christian and gay. The bible says otherwise. Son I know this is a huge struggle for you but by the grace of God I pray that you will seek to find your true identy. When we find our identiy in Christ we are truly free. When the son sets you free, you are free indeed. Seek ye first the kingdom of God and all things will be added unto you. Choose this day who you will serve. Will you serve the flesh or God? He who sins is a slave to sin. Choose freedom. Choose with your mind and your heart will follow. When Jesus died for sins he died for all of them not just certain ones. remember his words to those he healed, he said go and sin no more. Lord speak and let your child hear your voice and listen to what you have to say in your word. Don"t give up. This battle belongs to the Lord, let him take it up for you.