I really do not know what to do anymore... to keep fighting for my desires (whether you guys think it's right or not) or just give up on my life all together... I feel as if I am done with life and I just don't want to live it anymore without something to live for... I am going to continue to fight for my ex (whether you guys agree or not) and I will keep going to what I feel is right for me... Whether you guys may like my decision or not, it's nothing you or I can do anything about it to control it... That is my decision, yet I feel as if my life is not worth living when/if these things do not happen... I tried taking my life when I said I had those suicidal thoughts, because my desires are being all but vain to God... I just don't want to give up on the things I have in my heart, whether people agree with it or not... my mom doesn't agree with it, but I still go for it... my dad doesn't agree with it, but I still go for it... Many people may not agree with it, but I still am going to go for it... I think I should (again) step down from here until any further updates... I choose to keep fighting for the desires I believe God put in me. And that is all I'm going to say at this point. God Bless the rest of you. I will talk to you guys soon.

~Mel-S