I contemplated suicide when I was with my now ex husband. He was extremely abusive & could have cared less if I lived or died. It felt as if there was a spirit of darkness surrounding him as he made our lives a living a hell. He left and the darkness lifted from my life.

I am at peace in my life now that he is gone. I continue to live my life by The Word of God & please HIM.

Make the changes you need for you. Sit out a semester or two from school. Go back to square one in life for awhile.

I have friends, family, those that genuinely care about me & walk the walk, not just talk the talk. I am VERY happy & at peace with my life & the choices I am making.
God Is Awesome!

You will not likely find that comfort in your immediate family that I believe you are seeking, it comes when you are on your own. But you can take steps to ease the load you are dealing with, that you relax & succeed, whatever that is & God's Will For you.

As to your ex boyfriend, why would you want someone who does not want you? Even if you felt that he is the one that you are to be with?

My ex husband said all sorts of things to me to make me believe I was his, it was of God, & he had many plans he said also were of God. Yet he practically destroyed my life in total then proceeded to kick me to the curb.

God Loves you, Mel. Let yourself grieve the loss of your boyfriend. Live a life that is doable for you. Lower that bar you have set for yourself. He Will not turn His Back On you unless you slam the door shut.

The beauty is soul beauty, knowing that we are living our lives in every way possible that we are pleasing to HIM.

God Wants us to focus on HIM, not the world, or to worry when we are rejected. Life goes on.

Love out Mel. Love your parents, love no matter how bad you want to give up.. keep on loving & giving. It is what God Wants us to do.

He Has Shown me unbelievable things since my ex husband has been gone. You do not have to be perfect. It is by His Grace we live. Put on The Armor of God & walk boldly through life. Don't give up.