Things are not working out for me at all... I appreciate the comments, prayers, etc... but seriously, as soon as I posted, something else had to ruin my day. My mom yelling at me. Saying if something were to happen to both of us (meaning her and my dad) I'm going to end up getting checked into an institution because I cannot take care of myself or do anything for myself. She says all she does is serve me food (since I cannot cook) and do everything and I don't do a thing for myself. I'm 'messing up in school' but the term JUST started and this situations have gotten me to stay home and she told me herself I had to stay home so HOW am I messing up in school when classes JUST started back and SHE told ME to stay home because of the inclement weather and dad being in the hospital?! HOW AM I MESSING UP IN SCHOOL? Tell me! My mom is bringing my already low spirit lower. As my day (as painful as it is to wake up to it) is already messing up. My mom told me my dad is in a lot of pain in the hospital because of the broken hand, broken opposite arm, and his recent kidney infection on top of his heart problems. NOW can you tell me why my life isn't worthless? How can I be afraid of death when I want to kill myself? I'm just afraid where I will end up if I do it, which is why I haven't done it! I'm afraid of life in general. I do not like life as it is right now. I cannot take charge of my own life, because I have no where to go at this point... no where at all. I'm still stuck at home, with my mom mad, angry, worried, etc. about my dad in the hospital and ME in this state. Mom thinks I do not care for her or my father anymore just because I went on here to post my prayers/comments before I could have the chance to say good morning to her. And now I'm getting yelled at and getting these bad comments from her. My life is hell, tell me again why it's not worth killing myself over... I'm lost entirely... Lord... what can You do to turn things around... i mean right this second? The world is falling at my feet... and I'm afraid I may up falling with it... Help...

~Mel-S