This is not uncommon for someone your age to believe, but you love in your heart so huge Mel, that you I believe are not able to imagine you can go on in yourself without those you love on this earth.

There is some fear in you that you are attached in such a huge way (this is not bad but that you are completely falling apart, you are needing help to retrain yourself to become whole in JESUS) to your loved ones, but I think if you can deal with this directly, in counseling (Christian counseling preferably), that you will then be able to transfer this to Eternal Life & not fear the idea of death.

That is the beauty of being a Christian, that we live by faith, knowing there is Eternal Life. I think you are stuck right now & need help getting past this. It says a lot about you that you love as much as you do, your family, friends, bfriend, etc., HOWEVER, God Loves You & HE Is Needing you (I believe) to understand ....

you are ok with HIM. you're hitting bottom Mel.
we as Christians do that at times, often once in a big way! then grab ahold of GOD. this is where you are defined, set apart with GOD, & made new by HIS LOVE.
Those you love & that love you will not go away, if they have His Name on their forehead, they will live eternal as well...
Get a grip >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> of GOD.
(HE IS our LIFELINE>>> to HEAVEN)