Tania...if you feel you are wasting your time...you are. If the only way you feel that God loves you is to get what you ask for...then you are wasting your time...God is not out to please you Tania...he is out to conform your character to be like that of his son. To bring you to an acceptance of his will for your life. Why are you not married? If you cannot handle failing a class without being hospitalized, how would you handle dealing with another imperfect human being who hurt you as a husband...what if he committed adultery or left you with children to support...would you blame God for the choice that a man made too? Would you crawl into bed leaving the children to fend for themselves? You have not been given one yet because you are not ready...you would be looking to them to do in your life something that they cannot. A man cannot make you happy...oh yes there can be some pleasant times...but only you and God can make you happy and because that man is as fallible as you...trust me he would at some point hurt you... You say you had fibroids and surgery for them...but you are alive and functioning. Have you read some of the prayer requests on here? Do you understand how much better off you are than so many? You live in your parent's home...some are living on the street through no fault of their own. Their companies closed, they were laid off and they have no parents to go to...Tania...frankly while God is grieved by your selfish and angry way of being in the world...he will continue to let you be that way. That is up to you...however, do not expect people, women or men or God to be drawn to your self pity and want to spend time hearing of it and enduring your unpleasantness. Life is too short to listen to someone over and over who is so self absorbed that they can't see that they are blessed just to be alive. Bad relationships with men? Did someone put a gun to your head and make you choose to be with them? No...you chose...but it is God's fault? Tania...there are two words that are applicable here...Grow up! Stop looking for life to be the way you want it and having temper tantrums because it is not. When given lemons successful people make lemonade and do not waste a minute on lamenting that God did not give them Kiwi fruit instead. If I sound annoyed...I am... at the audacity of a person living in this world with all the advantages you have had...college...do you know how many people in our world have never been given the opportunity to learn to read. Anger with God...do you know how many people have been jailed because they wanted to worship our Lord. Do you know how many have been persecuted and killed for the faith?

You my dear will not see the fruit of blessing unless you stop looking for a guarantee that God will do it your way. He does not need you...he will not stop being God because you don't pray, or believe, or like the way he moves or choose to not take responsibility for the choices you have made. He will go on being God and loving those that choose or do not choose him. But he will bring blessings and peace only to those that DO. Your choice Tania...but please for the sake of those of us that love him...do not insult Our Father with you venomous anger again on this forum. You have earned the right to be angry in your mind...so be that way...hold on to your anger and let it sap your future, your life, your joy and any hope of contentment...but don't blame God. That is clearly your decision...May God forgive you...for all you have said that presented him as less than Holy. Help this woman Father...before she develops a seared conscience. In Jesus name...Amen!