Tania, the bible says that if we seek, we shall find, if we knock the door will be opened. God is not the author of confussion. You are seeking the truth and it will set you free. We believe in faith that God is who he says he is. I know that God loves you and that you want him to be more real in your life. You can see the Lord with your spiritual eyes. Our spirits are wittness's to the truth. I pray that you receive your visa approval and that you will have a peaceful and happy life. God never said it would be easy to follow him. We choose to take the narrow road. The struggle is because the enemy is warring for your soul. To follow Christ is a decision of the mind and an act of the will. Be at peace Tania God will reveal himself to you in a powerful way. I pray that you will not miss the boat when God passes by. I pray that your eyes will be opened and you will see and know that he is God. Some plant, some water but the Holy Spirit causes the growth.