Mel,
Don't give up hope just yet. Usually things get tougher as a way to test us. Think of it like when metal is molded. First, it's heated up, then the cool water is applied. It's beaten and perfected and process is repeated until it is just right. Glass and metals are purified in an identical manner. Basically, there's the initial trial that we go through (the heat), then everything seems to settle down, and then we are hit with another trial that seems worst than the first. It is all a purification process in order to get us to be molded the way the Lord would have us to be. Perhaps God is trying to get something in you to grow or attempting to get you to give up something. That's why I continue to recommend that you pray for His guidence. He will show you what to pray for--because He wants to answer your prayers--He will show you what to do while in your situation. Crying and worrying won't do any good--therefore, put it in God's hands. Allow Him to have the reins. Remember Christ said to take His yoke, because His burden is light.
The Lord only wants the best for you so do not give up. I kind of had the same kind of experience within the last few days. My friend, unfortunately, made a pass at me and he has a girlfriend. I was not receptive and I was quite frankly confused about it. It really hurts me, because I do not want to be used in such a way, even if he has a bad relationship right now (I don't particularly care for his girlfriend, but I respect her enough not to be an adulterer or a tempterous) and I have had feelings for him before. It's especially hard because I do care and I have a certain love for him--even if I'm not "in love."
I think it is probably the same thing you might be going through--a difficult trial that is meant to test you and mold you to be more like Him. Like me, you just have to trust that the Lord is in control and, after all, He's been God a loooooooong time and He knows what He's doing.
Hope that this has been an encouragment for you. Hang in there and be strong.
Lost Love
