I am going to continue to pray for the desires of my heart and I will have to trust in these desires more than ever. A fellow Christian friend has told me that sometimes Satan uses Christian people to get to me and say to me that God isn't going to do this for me or I will have to just give up. I have to keep up with the faith, even though it has slipped so much... My faith and trust comes and goes and come back again. I hope God understands that my desires mean everything to me in this life and if He promised to grant me the desires of my heart, I will believe that as best as I can. Until then... I hope I get to see my (ex)boyfriend around Christmas (which is most likely his next time in town...). And my desires are what keep me going... not to offend anyone, but when it comes to my heart, I can choose whether to follow others' advice or not... and I will continue to fight for what I think is right for my life. Amen.