My dad, the best man in my life, died this fall after a three year battle with cancer. Many prayed for him. Many fasted. Many felt that God had told us that Dad would be healed and that he would have fifteen more years on this earth. He had three.

My faith has been waning for years. I struggle to see the pain and suffering all around me in the news and in my community, and I struggle to see how God could take from us such a man of kindness, courage, and FAITH when we need him so badly. None of my siblings are Christians. How could God let us down like this? Oh, I know all the pat answers, Dad really was healed, we need to find our own faith in the Lord, God can turn all things to good, etc. None of those things answer my heart's cry. My anger. My confusion. My pain.

I miss my dad and I miss my God. But one is gone, and the other is starting to seem more and more like nothing but a figment of my imagination.