Dear Lauren,

I can relate to how you feel right now as I have been confused about many situations in my life not knowing which path God wants me to take. I experienced constant worry and confusion asking myself "God, is this what you would have me do?" and not believing I was understanding exactly what He was trying to show me. I cannot tell you how many times I agonized over wondering if I was hearing God or just hearing myself in regards to many issues.

Well, what I learned is that God is the vine and we are the branch. If you allow the Holy Spirit to take control, He will guide you to God's plan and purpose for your life. I was involved in an 18 year relationship that ended rather abruptly and I was heartbroken. But it was only then that I took my eyes of myself and our relationship and looked only at the Lord! We spent time together. I read the Bible and I listened to sermons and I read books. I grew closer and closer to the Lord. He helped me to have a much better understanding of Him and His ways! I also realized the importance of being equally yoked in our relationship.

Since our breakup nearly 10 years ago, I cannot tell you how much I have grown spiritually - by leaps and bounds! Each and every day, I am drawn closer to Him. I came to realize that the man I was with was not the man God had chosen for me. I reazlized that wonderful, solid, stable, healthy, Godly relationships do not have as much turmoil as the one in which I was involved. I am actually sorry I invested so much time agonizing over that relationship when I could have been spending that time focusing on the Lord and on work on being His servant. After all, as Dr. Rick Warren states in the very first line of his book "The Purpose Driven Life," "It's not about you."

Lauren, I encourage you to put this relationship on the back burner for now. Ron may be the man for you but for now it's not time for the two of you to be together. Sometimes God makes us wait patiently while He "grows us up" by teaching us his calling for our lives. It is better to be happy alone than to be in an unhealthy relationship that God has not planned for us.

I read a great book that helped me to understand the Holy Spirit and how He works in our lives. It is called "The Wonderful Spirit-Filled Life" by Dr. Charles Stanley. You can check it out at the library or purchase it for very little on amazon.com. I had to read it twice before I truly grasped the importance of knowing our Helper and the role He plays in guiding us. I had always struggled with this in my life before I read this book.

I will be praying for Ron and you and I will ask Him to guide you and teach you the way you should go (Psalm 32:8). Please do not give up. It sounds as if you are a very strong woman and have great faith. Keep on believing! The closer you get to God, the more you will understand Him although I do not believe we will ever have all the answers until we arrive at heaven's golden gate. After all, He is the Almighty and we are human beings. And He does love and understand us and our struggles.

God bless you, Lauren!

Love in Him,
Cheryl