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Did I misunderstand God? - Guest - 12-18-2009 03:18 PM
Hi, my name is Lauren. I am confused and my heart is tired. I need lots and lots of prayers, please. I know this is long, but it has been a long time coming. A few years ago the one I love, and fought in many ways within my life to be withl, decided to leave me. Yes, I love him. I am not that young and I do know the difference. In ways I could tell he still wanted to be with me, but he never did anything. Shortly after he went away to school. I have never felt such grief, pain, and heartache in my life. It threw me into depression and I had no hope. I missed him EVERYDAY. I turned to God because I had no other hope. I asked God to bring him back to me. I asked God to make it real and I asked to let him stay if he did come back. I told God I didn't need more lies, which was why I was turning to God. I asked God to do this for me, but I also only asked him to give me true, triumphant hope. At first I was angry at God for letting this happen, but in time He changed me. I have always been a Christian, but I just knew the basics of what it was about, Jesus' sacrifice, etc. This time God made me look to his Word and his promises. I asked God many times if I was on the right track. Often when I was down there would something that I would take as a sign, a bumper sticker or a sermon, etc. that would tell me not to give up or to be persistent. So I didn't quit. I needed this to be true. After a year and a half of constant prayer, God granted my prayers. My love came back, and he missed me desperately. I didn't think he was capable of acting in such a way, it was the best night of my life. Not only did he come back, God did it for me. I believe that God guided me and didn't let me quit. There were days I wanted to, but I just couldn't. I believe God promised me this, by the way he guided me and everything that happened. However, there was one little problem, this guy had moved on. He said he would end his relationship with who he was with so I didn't really worry. He said he had been dreaming of me and trying to talk to me for a long time (it hurt to see him so I wasn't ready to just be friends so I did avoid him at times). Well about a month after this he left again because he had been deployed to Iraq. After many months I was able to see that he finally ended things with her. It worried me it took him so long, but by the things he said to me I just kept trusting him, and God. A few months later he received leave and came home for two weeks. After seeing her at school he started talking to me less. I could tell they were still fighting from the break up. I knew it had to be hard to let her go, nothing went wrong, he just chose me. I couldn't be around someone I had feelings for and just be friends. I also know he hates to lose people in his life, he tries to stay friends. After going back to war he didn't talk to me too much but did tell me he missed me and stuff. Well today he said when comes home about a week after that he is moving away. Our convo got cut short, he was called away, but I think he was ending things with me. He said he needed to get away, and hopefully forever. I know he is just running from his problems. I did it, and it never works. I can see him struggling and I am praying for him. I am sad he is torn, but I am scared. I feel bad, but I don't want to lose him. I believe God restored us, why is he leaving me? Did I misunderstand God? Was everything just a coincidence? Right before he contacted me I come across two things on the computer (and right after praying) and both were in this little thing called God's message, and I wasn't looking for it. One was no matter how bad things seem, with God's help they can change, in a day, even in a minute, so never give up because He could help at any time. The other one was do not think it is impossible to find love and keep it. The day before after praying I say something that said No Storm Lasts Forever. I am sooooooooooooo confused and hurt. Losing him is death to me. I could die from grief. Are those things I read God trying to tell me something or am I just being foolish? I will never give up my love for him and I will never give up praying for us, but am confused. So many other things contradict with God's promises and I am confused. I am so tired and do not know what to do. I do not know if I can go through this again. I don't want to lose him. For the past 6 years of my life, especially the last 3, it has been dedicated to prayer and desperation of being with this man. I know God is not a genie, but I do need him. Sometimes we need the ones we love. And I am confused about where God has led me. I pray God will act quickly and that He will keep this man and I together, or at least restore within a short time. I don't want to give up, but I don't want to spend my life chasing something that God will never ok. I am confused. I know God can change this situation, even though it seems hopeless again, but I am sooooo confused. I am so lost, in God, in my faith, in everything. Please pray for God to keep me with the man and for our love to be true and unending. Please pray for this man to be get over his feelings for this other girl and please pray for this man to be loyal and faithful to me. Please pray for God to bring this man back to me, if he does leave me, and I know God decides what time is best, but please ask God to bring him back quickly. And please pray for me. I feel like all of my faith in God depends on this situation. I am so tired. Please pray for me. Please pray for my faith my, for my tired heart, for me to get over my insecurities, for my confusion to be cleared up, for my circumstances to change, for me to be with this man, through true love, forever, and for God to guide me clearly and sustain me. I need God to speak to me now. I cannot bear confusion. I already don't understand. I know it sounds like I am chasing a fairy tale, but with God all things are possible, right?
I truly believe He guided me here, from being angry and bitter to loving God and then to granting my prayers. Please pray for me and for this man. Please also pray for this man's safety and all while he is at war. Please pray for his faith in God and Jesus as well, because he has very little, if any. By the way this guy's name is Ron. Please pray. Please. God please have mercy on me and help me and save me quickly, please, please, please, please, please, in Jesus Christ's name I pray. Amen.
RE: Did I misunderstand God? - stevendanielsen - 12-18-2009 09:25 PM
Dear Lord heal this relaship. IN JESUS NAME I PRAY AMEN.
RE: Did I misunderstand God? - sharon19 - 12-18-2009 09:34 PM
lovingly father!
JESUS you know all the problems of Lauren.....oh lord!please bless Lauren....remove all the obstacles...give peace to Lauren.....in JESUS name i pray amen.....
RE: Did I misunderstand God? - Cheryl - 12-19-2009 02:53 AM
Dear Lauren,
I can relate to how you feel right now as I have been confused about many situations in my life not knowing which path God wants me to take. I experienced constant worry and confusion asking myself "God, is this what you would have me do?" and not believing I was understanding exactly what He was trying to show me. I cannot tell you how many times I agonized over wondering if I was hearing God or just hearing myself in regards to many issues.
Well, what I learned is that God is the vine and we are the branch. If you allow the Holy Spirit to take control, He will guide you to God's plan and purpose for your life. I was involved in an 18 year relationship that ended rather abruptly and I was heartbroken. But it was only then that I took my eyes of myself and our relationship and looked only at the Lord! We spent time together. I read the Bible and I listened to sermons and I read books. I grew closer and closer to the Lord. He helped me to have a much better understanding of Him and His ways! I also realized the importance of being equally yoked in our relationship.
Since our breakup nearly 10 years ago, I cannot tell you how much I have grown spiritually - by leaps and bounds! Each and every day, I am drawn closer to Him. I came to realize that the man I was with was not the man God had chosen for me. I reazlized that wonderful, solid, stable, healthy, Godly relationships do not have as much turmoil as the one in which I was involved. I am actually sorry I invested so much time agonizing over that relationship when I could have been spending that time focusing on the Lord and on work on being His servant. After all, as Dr. Rick Warren states in the very first line of his book "The Purpose Driven Life," "It's not about you."
Lauren, I encourage you to put this relationship on the back burner for now. Ron may be the man for you but for now it's not time for the two of you to be together. Sometimes God makes us wait patiently while He "grows us up" by teaching us his calling for our lives. It is better to be happy alone than to be in an unhealthy relationship that God has not planned for us.
I read a great book that helped me to understand the Holy Spirit and how He works in our lives. It is called "The Wonderful Spirit-Filled Life" by Dr. Charles Stanley. You can check it out at the library or purchase it for very little on amazon.com. I had to read it twice before I truly grasped the importance of knowing our Helper and the role He plays in guiding us. I had always struggled with this in my life before I read this book.
I will be praying for Ron and you and I will ask Him to guide you and teach you the way you should go (Psalm 32:8). Please do not give up. It sounds as if you are a very strong woman and have great faith. Keep on believing! The closer you get to God, the more you will understand Him although I do not believe we will ever have all the answers until we arrive at heaven's golden gate. After all, He is the Almighty and we are human beings. And He does love and understand us and our struggles.
God bless you, Lauren!
Love in Him,
Cheryl
RE: Did I misunderstand God? - bcshelvsme - 12-19-2009 09:20 AM
Lord please give Lauren wisdom to know when it is you the one guiding her, or if her wanting it to be so much that she is misreading what you want for her. Give her the strength she needs to get over this man and concentrate on serving and loving you, for once she makes you the cornerstone of her life all will fall into place. May she listen to Cheryl's good advice. Bless her Lord with a better life and give her the peace that surpasses all understanding, fill her heart with your love and joy. I pray and thank you in advance in Jesus Christ Precious Name, always giving you all the Honor and the Glory Heavenly Father to whom all power belongs.
RE: Did I misunderstand God? - stevendanielsen - 12-19-2009 09:46 AM
Dear Lord Guide this Lady to what your will is. IN JESUS NAME I PRAY AMEN.
RE: Did I misunderstand God? - Karel - 12-19-2009 01:17 PM
Father I pray that she will make Your her first love. Father let her heart long for You like she is longing for her boyfriend. Let You will be done. Amen