I had somewhat of a relationship with my sister growing up. We never had sex but I did see her naked has she saw me naked and we did fool around quite a bit. Kissed and touched but never actual sex. We forgave each other but I still have massive guilt over it as I was older by one year and I should have stop it. She told me she is guilty as me as she pursued me as well. It doesn't matter who started it but it went on for a few years I have prayed so many times for forgiveness but I never recovered and I've never had a proper relationships and i have not dated in years. I also have trouble being intimate with myself because of the guilt I have. I know this is a very tough subject to read about but it's even tougher to type it out. Please pray that i forgive myself and my sister and be able to move on and have a actual relationship with a real person and that God will forgive me too