Human emotions are complex, it’s hard to sort through them to determine why we feel the way we do. I said a prayer for you, Mario. God’s sovereignty is an unshakable foundation of hope and confidence for those who love and trust Him. Be encouraged to know that He will never leave you nor forsake you. He loves you. Trust in His greatness.

Also, it’s best to get a qualified physician's evaluation of your condition without delay. Have you heard of the book, Hope Again: A 30-Day Plan for Conquering Depression, by Mark Sutton? It provides step-by-step encouragement and instruction to manage and win over depression.