This world, country is getting crazier, depressing and more divisive. I know there is a virus but don't know who to believe, don't trust the media or government, maybe im wrong but it seems hyped up and political because of upcoming election. I fear for the country in the future don't think things will get better. I don't want to be insensitive or coldbut I don't want to be duped. Some much fighting in the world and online. It gets so frustrating..
Im scared, nothing changes, I don't know what to do with my life. Im too old, im 53 not young, Im grateful to have a job but I can't live on $11 hour in the future. My husband is still paying the mortgage I think, not sure because of covid and he works at a restaurant, he lives next door but we don't talk very often. I believe he's gambling again so I don't know what's going on. My mother helps out too but she's old, 76. I don't have a plan, im scared about the future on this Earth.i worry about the car dying because I don't have money or good credit to get another one, I can't quit working to go to school, can't live on this income without help. I hate my job, im embarrassed about where I work and how my life turned out, I don't tell people online from my past where I work, im happy I have a place to live and my house is run down but apartments out there I can't afford and they aren't good places with no storage.i saw some places last year when my house was in foreclosure.my house needs work, it's a mess.my floors are beat, doors missing, couch has holes in it, no lock on door, my yard is a wreck, eyesoreof the neighborhood.i wish someone from church would help us.i work nights, im out of shape and so tired. I spend my days off going grocery shopping and doing laundry and sleeping. My two teenagers don't help, m son will take out garbage but only if paid. I wish I could go back in time and start my life over and make things right. I don't know what to do. I wish Jesus would come back now.
I try to be nice but I have angry resentful feeling toward my mom and deceased dad, they didn't teach us things, the spoiled us, never punished us as kids, never made us do anything, any work Andi wish they had. The people I grew up either independent adults. I feel lost, I know my parents meant well but as an adult I see things differently and I didn't get role models and im afraid my kids wontmake it either. I know salvation is the most important thing but being able to be independent is so important and necessary. I feel like a burden and leech and need to make it. My mom could die, she could have an easier life on her own. I doubt my husband will keep paying the mortgage after our youngest graduates in 5 years and then what? If his restaurant he works at is taking a hit maybe he isn't paying the mortgage. I hate ruining relationship's because of money too.
I did my taxes but don't know if my husband already claimed one or both of our teens ND my taxes rejected? I didn't have his social security number or tax identification number so eft it blank for my married but separated return. Praying it got processed and I get my refund and no trouble, no audit and I don't have to do the returns again. I couldn't do it o línea and had to wait for local congressman's office to open to get tax forms and did return day before tax filing due date. Prayers it was ok. Imso tired, so scared,not really happy with my life but I don't want to be a phony Christian. I don't want to just speak words but I want to be real and filled with joy. Life doesn't seem important. Prayers for our country. Prayers for the upcoming election and godly candidate. Prayers the truth will come out in the media, health data, prayers for health.
My brother in nursing home past 8 months for ankle operation, recently tested positive for Corona, prayers for him and others living in nursing homes. Prayers for health and safety, prayers for visitors. Prayers evil will be outed.