I'm worried I committed the unforgivable sin. I've been suffering from racing thoughts about committing this for a while..I don't know if it is self punishment or some type of OCD. These verses always terrified me.

In one instance, I thought the Holy Spirit was bad for not helping me.

Please pray that I receive mercy and a sign from God that I'm not made for destruction. I prayed for forgiveness but I feel I have no assurance because the verses seem so clear cut of having no hope.