Scott the word of God tells us, there are consequences to our sins, and that we reap what we saw. God does forgive us, but but we have to learn to forgive our self and those that have hurt us too. You have to gain your wife's trust, and you hers, and the one that can help you both to trust each other, is to first trust God and love Him above anything else in your lives. Read the Lord's prayer, see how it tell us "forgive us our sins as we forgive those who have sin against us." If you want God to forgive you and answer your prayers, so must you forgive others first, such as your wife.
Lord I pray you will bring forgiveness to this couple and with each other, and for themselves too. May they really turn their life and marriage completely to you and allow you to guide their steps from now on. I know you can heal marriages for you have done it with mine, but we have to be honest with each other, and repent from our sins against you and against each other, that means to never do what you had done in the past ever again. We know that only then can you can start working in their life's and marriage. Teach them Lord to be understanding and kind to each other, and renew a better love for each other than they ever had. Teach them to trust you and each other from now on. Protect those kids in this marriage, may all that their parents are going through will not affect their tender life's in the future. I pray this in Jesus' precious name amen.