Hello Ive been a christian for 2 years now and I'm going through something right now that's bugging me.I'm in a spiritual mess and cant exactly figure out how I got here.I know that I'm bitter and upset with God.I feel like I cant trust Him anymore.I know I shouldn't feel this way though.When I sin I don't feel genuine sorrow over it.I'm prideful and disobedient toward God.I'm also pretty rude to Him too.I know that I'm being this way because I went through a period of time when I thought God wanted me to do certain things but it turns out what I thought was God was really Satan trying to use legalism to ruin my relationship with God..and I feel like it did.I want to restore my relationship with Him but for some reason I keep procrastinating.I guess every time I think about going to Him I get reminded of all the feelings I had while doing legalistic things(fasting on/off almost daily for weeks,reading my bible all day and not doing anything else and be fearful of doing anything else because I felt like it would be disobedience) and it makes me want to resist Him.

Please pray that God will humble me and give me a repentant heart and understanding so I can know what's the truth and what's a lie and zeal and passion for Him to continue to press on because now I feel like giving up.