I was reborn and transformed by christ in 1995. Since then I have done nothing but steam roll down hill. Jesus I thought you would heal me! Jesus I thought you would provide. Jesus I thought you would cause me to be able to provide for myself. Jesus I thought I would be in your hands. Jesus Why didnt you send someone to tell me that I would have to work at my continued healing when that really mattered? Why didn't you send me a teacher out of all that I sought out to tell me the truth? Why did you send me only teachers who promised me you would prosper and heal me when I am blessed with food but not even enough healing to care for myself? Jesus Why did you let me down? Jesus why is my self esteem dead my spirit dying and my strength to fight gone? Jesus why do I want to die because I cant live with my incompetency anymore? Jesus why do I have a husband that doesn't want me? Jesus why do your children keep telling me that you will fix everything when you wont and accuse me of not being saved or born again because I feel this way? Why aren't you hearing me when my soul is screaming but my mouth is silent?You show me that I am indeed a worm and my waiting on you is what destroys me.