Hello everyone. I am writing, maybe selfishly, but i am a backslidden christian, who has been wrestling with Gods conviction recently. I feel if i dont do something, I will go so far i will be too far gone. My heart is very hardened and wicked because eleven years ago, I walked away from Him, for what reason I dont know, but it was extremely. I need help, but I feel so dead inside, except for a dwindling spark, ever so small, and still I have sinned willfully against Him, but I am trying not to turn away yet again, with the imminent doom of hell in my mind. I am sure I had accepted Jesus back in 2001 and eleven years has passed and I find myself so far away from where I was, I dont recognize myself. There are people, my family mostly, who have been praying for me, and I have been confronted by convictions before, but I feel I must turn back before ii is too late. I have broken so many vows and blown Him off so many times. I pray that somehow my hardened heart be softened yet again to His word and convictions, and that my wicked mind be cleansed of its impurities. I dont know how, but I hope I can be broken of the deadly sin that chose to follow and strayed so far from Jesus that I have becomed so poisoned by my own doing. I want to get back home before it is too late.