The reason I ask, why do you write here? is I really do wonder.
What is it you are seeking?
Are you asking for prayers that you see HIM?
Is your quest Just whether some are saved & others are not?
What is it you need from us?
You are sharing you gave up on God...
ok & what? This is a Christian site. We can pray for you, IF you desire this. But you are not making known what you need from us.
You are just telling us, you have given up.
& yes, the bible says some are saved but we have free will.

I pray you turn around your life & seek what matters.
God owes us NOTHING. We owe him EVERYTHING.
That's how I see it.

Guest Wrote:AMEN. Free Will!
I try to regularly picture myself with NOTHING in this world.
Homeless, no food, completely barren of all worldly comforts/needs.
Then I look up to HIM & say, God, thank YOU, I know YOU ARE THERE & I Rejoice.
I know that this is not my eternal home, this earth is a testing & God Is our Savior, He Is The Answer to our problems.
I agree, Tania, it is sad that you don't choose God, but you are choosing.
Why do you write here? Do you just ask is there some going up & some not, according to scripture? Yes, that is what scripture says.
We choose. Then we work out our salvation, "with fear & trembling."
Whether you are old & bitter or rich & happy, on this earth, it's about GOD. Without Jesus, we do not know Eternal Life.
It is written.
I pray you choose Christ. But as others say, it is up to you, NOONE can do this for you. We choose then walk it out & face GOD on Judgement Day.

adoring1 Wrote:Tania if you continue on in this same way you will become a bitter old woman alone and broken. God is waiting for you to turn to Him...to seek Him...to acknowledge his presence and to seek and surrender to His direction. If you choose to continue to reject Him he will let you and you will remain exactly as you are alone and miserable...it is called free will. We as prayer warriors can pray for you until our lips are numb...but unless you choose to believe and pray for a change of heart it will have no effect. God only acts for those that are His...not those who thinks he humiliates them. You are writing your own epitaph...if you want your life to change...it does not start with others or with God... it starts with you and your opening yourself to him. Lord help this woman to have a change of heart. In Jesus name...Amen!

I reread what you write here, I feel insulted in my spirit because you blame God for what you are lacking, that you smite God, beware.

If you want prayer, ask. We can pray for you that you choose Christ.
But my spirit is taken back, in defense of GOD, by your words @ HIM WHO IS ALL.

that's my

iwant2know Wrote:I want to pray but everytime I get the nerve to I feel sick. As in the past the answer has always been "no". I have had enough of the rejection. No matter what it's as if I don't matter. I don't deserve a thing including sanity and I find it very difficult to want a relationship with something that does not want a relationship with me. It's just something I can not bring myself to do. It's like pondering whether you should ask you boss for a raise when you know the answer is going to be no. There's only so much humiliation one can take.

I want to have a change of heart but as a human I need to know that I am not wasting my time like I did all those years ago in trying to be something that I was not. I need to know that God believes in me. I can not make a fool of myself ever again for a God that does not acknowledge me. Daily I prayed and tried giving my best. He can help others so what's so wrong in helping me?

I did everything--tried to be the perfect little thirtysomething virgin, helping others as much as I could, volunteering with the dying, praying, weekly mass, etc. In return I watched several friends and family get married, have kids, lead happy and successful lives. Many graduated from college with high degrees and landed very good jobs. What did I get? Let's see an F in Algebra that made me suicidal to the point that I had to be hospitalized for a week and two surgeries for uterine fibroids that have probably left me infertile, a string of bad relationships with men and back home living with my parents at almost 40 years of age. As you can see I have accomplised so much.

I could go on and on about the people who would never acknowledge God or so much as even lift a finger to help someone in need yet they got their "blessing" and came out on top anyway. In the end stupid little Tania is still hurting and wondering what to do next while the rest of the world passes by and people wonder why I feel this way about God after praying for his guidance and help and thanking him. I feel I have earned the right to be angry.

#1. God is not a ginnie in a bottle to "help" us to get our way.He has His plans for us.
#2. You are right to say that you were trying to be what you were not. And I hear you - you are tired...Good. We get nowwhere by our "works". We can do nothing to "deserve" anything of God. In fact, our own righteousness is like filthy rugs to God. He alone is righteous.
#3You are in a good spot - tired, broken, lonely, despising fo yourself... You are right - you are worthless on your own, same way I am and same way your friends who seem to you more sucessfull.. And your life (and theirs and mine) is but a vapor - today here and tomorrow - whew - gone. And we are all helpless...That is a first step - to acknowledge our own state of helplesness. We are all BORN sinners and again the hight standard of God nothing we DO can stand.
#4 You have a greast longing in you - longing for love, meaning...you see, you were made by God for one purpose only - FOR RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM. That longing can't be fulfilled by anyone and nothing else. That is why you are hurting - your sould longs for HIM. Money, worldly relationships, achievements - none of these can't fulfill - they distract for some time...We need relationship with the greates of all - Perfection, God.. But sin, in which we were born prevents us from the relationship with Holy God.
#5Yet - God loved us so much He gave His only begotten Son that WHOEVER (any worst sinner and any worst looser, whoever) believes in Him can have the everlasting life. Life in relationship with HIM!
#5 Jesus is the SON of GOD, His perfect plan of our salvation from our helpless state..Your SAVIOR and He is waiting for you to give your hwaert, your life life to HIM.

All you have to do is to acknowledge in your heart that you are sinner, falling short of His glory, that you need Him desperately, that you repent (turn away, give up) an all your sins and acknowledge Jesus as the Son of God, YOUR, intimately your savior, whose blood is the only possible provision for your sisns and the only way you can be saved, wahsed clean, be renewed for a relationship with God for eternity. By His blood He washes away your sins once aqnd for ever and by His Holy Spirit He gives you new life - you are then Born Again. Fresh, clean, loved for ever... He will give you a new heart, new mind, new life in and with Him. You can do nothing on your to get ther - you need this honest genuine talk with Him... Just ask, He waits. You will see.

You see, it is not at all about the worldly stuff - all these things we see are temporary and ultimately empty. The truth is that Your are hurting in your soul.. The enemy tried to fool you in the past that if you commit siucide, it will help it. But suicide is leaving your body - which is temporary anyway, while your hurt is in your soul, which is everlasting.. If you die withput being born again, that hurt and emptiness which is there because of our deepest longing for God will be there for ever. You see how the deceiver, the lier tried to destroy you like that? Imagine hrting like ths for ever while He, Holy God, DIED and rose again that you might have an eternity, secure eternity with HIM - the ultimate fulfillment....It is finished, done - all for you, you have to only accept it. This grace is so overwhelming. Enemy is already a looser - Christ said it is finished - He won for ever, but enemy is trying hard to prevent as many as possible from coming to saving faith and to have them lost for eternity.. You were one of them - dont remain there. It is your choice.

Guest Wrote:#1. God is not a ginnie in a bottle to "help" us to get our way.He has His plans for us.
#2. You are right to say that you were trying to be what you were not. And I hear you - you are tired...Good. We get nowwhere by our "works". We can do nothing to "deserve" anything of God. In fact, our own righteousness is like filthy rugs to God. He alone is righteous.
#3You are in a good spot - tired, broken, lonely, despising fo yourself... You are right - you are worthless on your own, same way I am and same way your friends who seem to you more sucessfull.. And your life (and theirs and mine) is but a vapor - today here and tomorrow - whew - gone. And we are all helpless...That is a first step - to acknowledge our own state of helplesness. We are all BORN sinners and again the hight standard of God nothing we DO can stand.
#4 You have a greast longing in you - longing for love, meaning...you see, you were made by God for one purpose only - FOR RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM. That longing can't be fulfilled by anyone and nothing else. That is why you are hurting - your sould longs for HIM. Money, worldly relationships, achievements - none of these can't fulfill - they distract for some time...We need relationship with the greates of all - Perfection, God.. But sin, in which we were born prevents us from the relationship with Holy God.
#5Yet - God loved us so much He gave His only begotten Son that WHOEVER (any worst sinner and any worst looser, whoever) believes in Him can have the everlasting life. Life in relationship with HIM!
#5 Jesus is the SON of GOD, His perfect plan of our salvation from our helpless state..Your SAVIOR and He is waiting for you to give your hwaert, your life life to HIM.

All you have to do is to acknowledge in your heart that you are sinner, falling short of His glory, that you need Him desperately, that you repent (turn away, give up) an all your sins and acknowledge Jesus as the Son of God, YOUR, intimately your savior, whose blood is the only possible provision for your sisns and the only way you can be saved, wahsed clean, be renewed for a relationship with God for eternity. By His blood He washes away your sins once aqnd for ever and by His Holy Spirit He gives you new life - you are then Born Again. Fresh, clean, loved for ever... He will give you a new heart, new mind, new life in and with Him. You can do nothing on your to get ther - you need this honest genuine talk with Him... Just ask, He waits. You will see.

You see, it is not at all about the worldly stuff - all these things we see are temporary and ultimately empty. The truth is that Your are hurting in your soul.. The enemy tried to fool you in the past that if you commit siucide, it will help it. But suicide is leaving your body - which is temporary anyway, while your hurt is in your soul, which is everlasting.. If you die withput being born again, that hurt and emptiness which is there because of our deepest longing for God will be there for ever. You see how the deceiver, the lier tried to destroy you like that? Imagine hrting like ths for ever while He, Holy God, DIED and rose again that you might have an eternity, secure eternity with HIM - the ultimate fulfillment....It is finished, done - all for you, you have to only accept it. This grace is so overwhelming. Enemy is already a looser - Christ said it is finished - He won for ever, but enemy is trying hard to prevent as many as possible from coming to saving faith and to have them lost for eternity.. You were one of them - dont remain there. It is your choice.

Okay thank you but there are still things I do not understand about a relationship with God.
If we do not need anything outside of God then why do people get married and have children? If God created those things then why do we not need them? In order to live it requires money and in order to have that money it comes from working. So I do not understand why we do not need these things if they help with getting by in life.

Tania...if you feel you are wasting your time...you are. If the only way you feel that God loves you is to get what you ask for...then you are wasting your time...God is not out to please you Tania...he is out to conform your character to be like that of his son. To bring you to an acceptance of his will for your life. Why are you not married? If you cannot handle failing a class without being hospitalized, how would you handle dealing with another imperfect human being who hurt you as a husband...what if he committed adultery or left you with children to support...would you blame God for the choice that a man made too? Would you crawl into bed leaving the children to fend for themselves? You have not been given one yet because you are not ready...you would be looking to them to do in your life something that they cannot. A man cannot make you happy...oh yes there can be some pleasant times...but only you and God can make you happy and because that man is as fallible as you...trust me he would at some point hurt you... You say you had fibroids and surgery for them...but you are alive and functioning. Have you read some of the prayer requests on here? Do you understand how much better off you are than so many? You live in your parent's home...some are living on the street through no fault of their own. Their companies closed, they were laid off and they have no parents to go to...Tania...frankly while God is grieved by your selfish and angry way of being in the world...he will continue to let you be that way. That is up to you...however, do not expect people, women or men or God to be drawn to your self pity and want to spend time hearing of it and enduring your unpleasantness. Life is too short to listen to someone over and over who is so self absorbed that they can't see that they are blessed just to be alive. Bad relationships with men? Did someone put a gun to your head and make you choose to be with them? No...you chose...but it is God's fault? Tania...there are two words that are applicable here...Grow up! Stop looking for life to be the way you want it and having temper tantrums because it is not. When given lemons successful people make lemonade and do not waste a minute on lamenting that God did not give them Kiwi fruit instead. If I sound annoyed...I am... at the audacity of a person living in this world with all the advantages you have had...college...do you know how many people in our world have never been given the opportunity to learn to read. Anger with God...do you know how many people have been jailed because they wanted to worship our Lord. Do you know how many have been persecuted and killed for the faith?

You my dear will not see the fruit of blessing unless you stop looking for a guarantee that God will do it your way. He does not need you...he will not stop being God because you don't pray, or believe, or like the way he moves or choose to not take responsibility for the choices you have made. He will go on being God and loving those that choose or do not choose him. But he will bring blessings and peace only to those that DO. Your choice Tania...but please for the sake of those of us that love him...do not insult Our Father with you venomous anger again on this forum. You have earned the right to be angry in your mind...so be that way...hold on to your anger and let it sap your future, your life, your joy and any hope of contentment...but don't blame God. That is clearly your decision...May God forgive you...for all you have said that presented him as less than Holy. Help this woman Father...before she develops a seared conscience. In Jesus name...Amen!

God knows that I have these problems and that I am struggling to overcome them. If he's mightier and more powerful than me then why not at least do that. If I saw someone struggling and knew they had less strength than me I would help them and I am just a human. So if I am willing to help someone why can't a loving God do that for his child?
I don't maybe it's meant for some people to understand God. The rest of us are left to fend for ourselves. It must be nice to be chosen.
My intention is not to offend anyone. I don't dislike God, I'm just don't have that special strength that he has given others.

the only way to understand God is to know him...and you come to do that not by doing good works or volunteering with the dying. Those are good things to do...but you seem to believe that because you did them you deserved to be rewarded. You come to know God by reading his word...by seeking his guidance by living that word. A good and sound parent does not continually rescue their children. That will not teach them to be strong and to stand on their own...It will only keep them weak. Rather they will practice tough love with them...yes you can live here...but you will be expected to work and until you have a job...expected to earn your keep by doing household chores for example. God is far better as a father...that any parent on earth. He will help you but you will have to help yourself. If you fail a class for example...you will need to repeat it and study smarter and in some cases harder...he is not going to study for you. Again Tania...do what you wish...but your way will not change anything...and you will end up as I said before alone broken and bitter...your choice. May you find your way to him before you take your last breath. Good night.

THAT'S IT. I have to step in here. After reading this I have to step in. You guys are treating this young woman the SAME WAY you have treated ME when I was this way. Judging her and persecuting her and practically FORCING her to come to Christ is NOT the Godly way of doing this! And you guys are being annoyed and of anger like she is just because she is deciding or is thinking of something you guys do not agree on. And again you guys did me the SAME WAY. Don't you guys get it? REAL Christians are supposed to love and be of understanding why she is this way? So she may be insulting God, but so did I. So she is questioning her own purpose in life, so am I. So she is falling short of becoming one like Him, SO AM I AND ALL OF US TOO because WE AS PEOPLE ARE NOT PERFECT. Christians are supposed to be kind and giving, NOT to be judging or being so easily offensive by SOMEONE ELSE'S INTENTIONS. Saying she's "wasting her time" and to "grow up". Remember MY posts?! See where I have become! I had to mature on my own and not be so dependant on other people's opinions and intentions! I am being one with God on my own. And you guys, thrashing her in such a way is NOT HELPING. You guys are supposed to be soldiers of Christ. You are trying to "help" this young woman. Saying "you will end up alone and broken if you don't come to Christ" is the most convicting thing to say to ANYONE, even believers or people who are falling short of Him. WE ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO FORCE. Only GOD can help her come to HIM, NOT US. WE CAN only give the WORD of GOD to others so they may come to HIM... SAYING that YOUR WAY IS THE WRONG CHOICE is WRONG to say! YOU SHOULD ALL, EVEN HER OF MYSELF FOR SAYING ALL OF THIS, SHOULD FALL ON OUR KNEES AND ASK FOR FORGIVENESS IN THE PRESENCE OF GOD ALMIGHTY. I'm so hurt to see this... Christians are not supposed to force our behalf of her own decision... if SHE doesn't want to follow Christ, FINE HER CHOICE. All you need to do is PRAY AND MOVE ON. JUST PRAY ANF LET GOD TAKE CARE OF IT. Your words are HURTING her more than doing her GOOD. And this brings me back to what you guys have said to me. Calling me spoiled and stubborn and selfish. We as Christians are not to judge for GOD IS THE TRUE JUDGE AND NOT US. SHE HAS TO CHOOSE, AND WE CANNOT DO ANYTHING TO HELP HER. We may talk and put some thought in her head, BUT THREATENING SPIRITUAL WARFARE ON HER IS NOT THE ANSWER. SHE is broken... she may have had a bad childhood or have somethings hidden that you or any of us do not know about! She could have mental troubles or have demonic attacks around her, giving her the impression that God is not with her! We should just pray for her salvation and coming to Christ NOW and MOVE ON so GOD can take care of it! OUR mere words are not as powerful as GOD'S. And you "maturing Christians" are not showing the true attitude of being a soldier in Christ. You are treating this woman the same way... You guys think you're ashamed of HER, I am ashamed of YOU GUYS acting in such a kid-like way towards HER OWN CHOICES. If you guys do not like her choices, then just pray and go in peace. Let God handle it, because you guys may be making it worse for her. If she is stubborn or wasting her time, then you guys may be wasting her time with her, judging and persecuting her of what God may have in store for HER WHEN (not if) WHEN she comes to Christ if she shall choose to.

God help us all as Christians to not force Your word upon her, because that is not what we are here to do in this world. We are to speak the Word, but let the person have their own free will to choose. I have been in this same predicament and I have matured since then. And seeing this again on yet another person who was thinking the same way as I am makes me want to step in and convict your OWN HEARTS what TRUE Christians shall do! Tania, I am praying for you because I have been in the same predicament, to be fully angry and at the point of giving up on God all together. It is your choice in this life whether to have God or not, and we must respect NOT JUDGE that decision because it is YOUR LIFE and we ALL have free will. When we don't have Christ, life is hard. When we DO, life is hard anyway. WE HAVE THE RIGHT TO OUR OWN CHOICES and we KNOW not all will be in Heaven when the rapture comes, when Christ returns. WE can only PRAY for them to not fall short in time of either their souls passing or whenever Christ will return. And May God help me if any would to be annoyed with ME in trying to help HER AND YOURSELVES to be true to HIM. AND IN HIM. Anger may be flowing in my veins right at this moment for such behavior on BOTH ENDS, but this too shall PASS! IN JESUS' Name I pray! MAY GOD HAVE MERCY ON ALL OF US!

~Mel-S

Mel...we all have choices to make. And we all will make them. You are 19 years old and this is a woman of almost 40 who is entering middle age with the same anger as that of a child. Time is not on her side. This is a Christian site. A site where God is to be revered. Whatever your opinion or mine or anyone else's really doesn't matter. Only God's opinion does. We are all allowed to make our choices. You say that real Christian's do not speak so...have you read the letters from Paul to the churches?

Has your anger changed anything...did mine when I had it many years ago or anyone elses change anything for the positive? Did speaking of the Lord in such an irreverent way bring you what you wanted? From your posts I think not. Being without respect for the Lord only brings misery...and while you may disagree with the method of direct communication...sometimes it is necessary for a wake up call. No one here wants to force anyone to do anything...but we also have a choice to make. To sit and watch God be maligned or attacked...and to speak words of solace while he is insulted...or not. While you have the right to disagree, it is important to determine what is being gained. I will go to my grave defending my God against those who speak of him like he is a homeboy off of the street. It matters not what you think of me to me...or what you don't. You can insult me personally and I really will not care...but to insult the Creator is a sin and Christians who stand by and say nothing become equally vested in that sin. When you were behaving so you were doing so from the mind of a child...with little life experience to do anything else...but this is a different type of battle. One for the soul of a woman who has many less years to correct her course. None of us is perfect and yes we all fall short...but God never does and is not to be blamed when we do...

You are right when you say Christians are supposed to be kind and giving...but we are also to speak truth and stand against what is evil to the death. Irreverence is of the enemy...is evil and is not of God. I and others here stand against it...but most importantly...I stand FOR a change in this woman's heart that she might know the fellowship of her Creator...and most of all that she might avoid the pains of hell through unbelief. What we think becomes what we say. What we say becomes real...words have power...from the mouth of God they created the universe...the words we speak about our God and his relationship to us define us...It is my hope that the words we speak will cut through the muck and mire to reveal truth of who God is and therefore who we really are...and yes I stand by what I said...blaming God isolates us leaves us alone and leaves us broken...healing and growth only come through him...if we could do it on our own...none of us would be here seeking prayer. God bless us all.