The difference between a wife & a mother when married (to a husband).
Paula, there are many men that are not mature & when married they act like small boys, the are, "naughty," act out, do whatever they please, like forelorn teenagers (or less). A grown-up Godly man is not like this.
As a wife our job is to act as such. The men that want to treat their wife poorly, not be committed, cheat, lie, do what they please are in search of a mother not living as a husband to his wife. There are women that do the same, are looking for a father figure, not willing to maturely walk out a marriage.
Timothy is not grown up, he is like a small boy who is doing what he pleases. You are a mother but to your children, you are not Timothy's mom. That is why this is not working out, he is still seeking to be a little boy, not a man.
Your role as mother to your children is however important. Timothy's looking for playmates. I believe God Is Looking To you to bring about the stability in your own life now, be a mother to your children, order to your own life.
The starting of a support group that is advised here is a great idea.
We are to be like children to enter the kingdom of Heaven but that means God's Children, not immature creatures who wallow ongoing in self pity.
It's normal to grieve loss, with many emotions. Anger, sadness, confusion, denial. But working through this is what grown up's do.
Little boys (& little girls) will always seek playmates, in a futile attempt to passify fantasy, living in the moment, the conscious is not developed at such a young age.
Adults, God's people live by rules, the bible, laws that govern those that are saved. You are not abandoned. You are going through a difficult time. Welcome to adulthood. It's written in The Book that Christians do suffer.
Put on your armor of CHRIST, fight the battle, reach out to others that suffer (as is advised here). Timothy has a mother. Let him find out the difference between a wife & mother by letting go of that role you are playing to him as mom. As a daughter of CHRIST we are safe, protected, empowered. Not for the fainthearted.
Let Timothy know that you don't want to play anymore. Embrace a war that can be won, good & evil. Be the mother God Made you for those kids of yours, an example of a woman that was devoted to her husband (who is now wayward).
You are no weakling Paula. Stop playing the games with the cowards. As is said here, if your area is short on support groups, start one. Turn victimhood into victorious. Take the focus off of Timothy & put it back where it belongs, on JESUS CHRIST. If your now ex husband was he man he claims to be, he would be doing the same. He's not, didn't, won't. But you can.
(04-28-2011 01:39 AM)paula0331 Wrote: i am very very depressed and sad. i found out tim is mad at me and is looking for a wife. i was up all night crying. please pray for me i am very upset and lonely and want a better life in 2011. pray the hedge of thorns to remove all woman from tim's life and that he comes back to me to be his wife, lover and best friend. iand that 2011 is better for me. my daughter is going to her juinor prom tomorrow and has not called or e-mailed me i have not talked to her in one week and my son in two weeks. my life sucks. pray for me. i dont know what to do . i miss my family especially tim. pray that he won't find a girl to marry and come back tome. he is mad at me for calling him and depeneding on him. pray the hedge of thorns that karen is out of his life too.
please pray for me deeply. i want to have tim move back in with me and be his lover wife and best friend again. we have so much in common. i love him still. paula
