(05-20-2011 08:42 AM)Guest Wrote:  You were very clear, you are compromising who you are for what you want. If he is interested in more than one person at the same time, then he is messing with your head. No one can serve two masters. Wake up and smell the coffee. This will hurt you, guarenteed. Move on as suggested by others responding to your request. Are we just a sounding borad or did you really want help here. You will do what you want anyway and that is childish.

You are being harsh and rude just like the other guest has pointed out. Stop speaking out of annoyance and out of love or advisement. Thank you.

don't settle for being second best...you will be poisoned by that.

the truth hurts doesn't it!

the lord still loves you mel,everything in your life is important to him i may not fully understand your needs/desires heres my advice/prayer for you to pray;HOLYGHOST TAKE MY DESIRE/LOVE FOR(ENTER PERSONS NAME) TAKE IT POWER OF GOD AND GUIDE ME, IN JESUS WONDERFUL NAME AMEN

It is my prayer that you will have the best man for you come into your life. I believe that you must commit this matter to the Lord in prayer and he will help you to make the right choice.

Heavenly Father,
You know Mel's situation Lord. You know who the love of her life is. Let your perfect will be done in her life. I am praying that you will lead her to make the right decision in this matter. I am praying that Mel will have the full blessings and joy that you have for her. Bless her abundantly and exceedingly Lord. I give you all the praise and glory, in Jesus name, Amen.

(05-18-2011 08:04 AM)Mel-S Wrote:  Been a loooong time since I posted a request here...

Okay you may not believe this or see this from me... but I have officially given up on my ex-boyfriend... yes, it's about time I can hear from you guys. Reason why is one: I've looked back and seen all the pain I've been through... And I've been through so much pain that I almost killed myself. So with that and him dating my former friend, I can say I'm done with him. I don't want him anymore... yet when I look back at the pain, I end up crying again... I don't want to be hurt like that anymore...

The other reason: ...I am falling for another guy. One who I have known just as long as my ex. We've hung out, had good times together, and seems like perfect boyfriend material! He even has admiration for me as well! ...Here's the problem though... He has feelings for another girl. More than for me. He's known the girl for longer than he's known for me. And he's falling for her... even though he knows I do love him... he told me he doesn't want to turn his back on the girl he loves (the girl knows he loves her but I do not know if she loves him back as much) for the girl he likes/admires (me)... He says he doesn't want to be the one to hurt me since I am and I quote "a caring, kind, wonderful woman such as [my]self." He says any man who may come after me (he's not my boyfriend, but he does admire me to be more than a friend) deserves all the love I can give them. And that I deserve any man that may come for me as well. He wanted me to promise to not let anything hurt me like that (ex boyfriend) ever again. Because he told me if I hurt I will fall. And if I hurt too much I'll fall so hard I'll never get up from it... He told me he cannot believe my ex would hurt me... or why he would hurt me like that because I don't deserve to be hurt like that. He told me my ex is missing out on something amazing: me. ...I cried a bit when he told me that. He wiped my tears from my face and said "don't cry. Don't ever cry in front of me. One: because it'll make you look bad and you deserve not to cry. And two: it'll make ME look bad if the girl decides to be my girlfriend and leave you alone since you do have feelings for me... and I don't want to be the one to hurt you..." He also told me he wished he knew me longer than the girl he wants to be with... otherwise things would be different...

Me and the guy (his name is Anthony) is a great friend of mine and I've known him for 5-6 years. He did tell me one thing though... if all else fails (meaning if the girl does not want him or he gave up on the girl because it's taking forever), then he'll come to me and officially ask me to be his girlfriend. Which he has a bit of a glimmer for me. He does have great admiration for me... and he's says I'm doing well gaining his interests little by little... Here's another thing... him and the girl he's falling for (Amber) have between now and this time next year to know whether they will be together or not. Should I wait for this guy to know if he'll get the girl or me? ...Or should I not...? He's a great guy. Handsome too. And a great friend. We're very close... we even kissed every time we saw each other... ...I know this could sound off but... I want your prayers for us to cross paths to be each other's soulmates and companions someday... But if he gets Amber and not me... I'll keep my promise to Anthony and will not get hurt (at least THAT bad) by this. What's so sweet about it is that he said if he does have me to be his girlfriend, he'll NEVER hurt me as bad as my ex Carlos did. He still cannot believe he put me through that much pain and that he doesn't deserve me if he were to hurt me like Carlos did, which he will not because he says he'll never hurt me nor leave my side... But the thing is he's falling hard for Amber. And he's sticking with the girl he loves than the girl he likes. He's committed to her even though he's not in a relationship with her which is a good thing. But the thing is I really love this guy. My friends are telling me not to give up on this guy and see where this goes between now and next year. They told me things can change and that he'll have me. But can that really happen even though his feelings for me are not mutual as of yet?

I really need advice and prayers for this... Please pray/give me advice on what I should do and go from here... Thanks.

~Mel-S

Mel,

I know you probably posted this awhile ago and maybe you go the answer you needed already, but I felt I should respond anyway. First of all, congrats to you for finally moving on from your ex. He didn't deserve to be with you if he wasn't willing to commit to you. Second, it sounds to me like the guy you are currently pursuing could be a nice guy, but unfortunately I do not think you should go after him as a potential boyfriend/husband. My reason for this is because he doesn't seem committed to you like you are already to him. Besides that, he says that he loves this other girl and yet he is chasing you around. Such behavior makes me question his loyalty to you. You most definately do not want to waste more time chasing after someone who doesn't want you...like what happened with Carlos (even if he says you're a back up). Speaking of back up, if he really cared for you, he would ask you right away rather than save you as a reserve. Any guy who deserves to be with you will be with you and YOU ALONE, not fifty other chicks on the side (I know you only mentioned one, but I'm making a point).

I hope that I haven't sounded harsh. I do want you to move on, but you should do so when the time is right and the Lord has the right man for you. Please let me know how everything is going. I hope that the Lord blesses you with the man he has for you and that you find him.

Sincerely,

Lost Love

Mel, go to God and listen to Him. Regardless of Amber or anyone else if you and Anthony are meant to be together you will be. There is nothing that will be able to stop The Lord's Will from being done. If not I pray that you have a great friendship with him and that you will be blessed with the guy you are in fact meant to be with so my advise is go to God, listen to Him, don't try to force yourself not to love him, because you do, and just trust that God will protect your heart. I was very afraid of getting my heart broken again after a very painful separation and we ended up divorcing and spoke to a Christian Counselor, she told me that God doesn't want me to hurt again either. That gave me comfort. I pray for all of the blessings and Miracles in the world and trust God with your heart. He knows what's best.

---

Also I thank God you did not hurt yourself. I have too had those feelings and many Christians have as well but Praise Him He got us through and I pray that we never go down that dark road again in Jesus name. Amen

Hello all. Despite only having a few (and I mean a few, no offense) words of encouragement on this forum, I have recently spoke to my friends about it (because I have a feeling that speaking to my close friends would help me just a bit more) and they told me to do just this: continue to pursue, but be patient and do not push it because what I'm doing now is just fine. Turns out they were right! A day after they told me this, Anthony and I hung out that very next day, and before the day was over, he actually told me that he was starting to fall in love with me. His feelings actually gotten more stronger than it was before. Even though the feelings are still not 100% mutual (more like 85% in my opinion), it's still a great sign. He believes the reason is because we hung out a lot more and talked a lot more than him and Amber usually do since she's in school a lot and never has the time to hang (whereas I do have time most of the time). Even though there is a wall between me and him, the wall is actually breaking little by little. We are still not a couple just yet, but you could say it's closer than what it was the last time I posted something here. Please continue to pray for us (that is if you choose to despite the harsh words I've been getting here lately, but not from all of you...) and thanks.

~Mel-S

Whoa............ Lot has changed already within an hour.... so check this out:

...I received a text from Anthony. He said he was actually giving up on Amber. He told me he realized that he'll never have her because she'll never be able to satisfy his emotional needs nor will he be able to deal with her unpredictable nature. He feels she wants to be free and he's not going to cling to her or it'll make things worse. However, he's restraining himself from another relationship just for a little while simply because he wants to work on himself first. He wants to patch up wounds from his last relationship and work on his trust issues (in which was caused him to have because his ex girlfriend cheated on him for a long time) before he has another relationship. He says he's definitely falling for me (at first he wasn't sure but now he really is), but he wants to work on breaking his shell before another could break his heart. He feels that he doesn't deserve a girlfriend right now... but I thought different. I think he's an amazing guy... and I'm doing the same thing (patching up old wounds from my ex boyfriend who has my former best friend as his girlfriend and the like). He said there is one other girl he loves but can't have (referring to Amber) but regardless of whether I love him or she does, he's trying to work on himself before he gets into a relationship. I told him I understand because I am currently doing the exact same thing. I totally understand where he is coming from. I told him I am not going anywhere and I am more than likely to help him just like he helped me... To me... He was the reason I gave up on my ex. He told me that is exactly why he's falling for me: because I can really show him I can understand him. As of right now, we cannot be together, but that definitely means we have a chance. I am falling for him just like he's falling for me and it's working out well. God is answering my prayers already! But I want you guys to send your prayers not to me, but to Anthony. He means a lot to me and I would really appreciate it if you pray for him to find himself again and to get himself together soon.

~Mel-S

I am happy to hear that you 2 are communicating and becoming closer. I pray for you and Anthont both. God bless you guys. Please keep us posted!