I still feel love for somebody who hurt me in the past.
I forgive him but the love is still there.
I deliberately stayed away from this situation so that I can heal.
It upsets me more that others have assumed I didn't have a church life because I wasn't in his church anymore- I since have been blessed in other churches and the Lord has shown me many wonders. Sometimes people think that if you are not in their particular church circle that you are in none- yet we have brothers and sisters all over the world.
I am so thankful for the love that never fails in Jesus. He is truly my rock.
Yet I know that I have love and affection to give so perhaps meeting somebody new could bring about the end of this connection. Then I could see him and his circle without feeling the remaining pain.
It is also important to me that these particular brothers and sisters understand that I still have my faith - it makes the situation worse when I hear things that aren't fully true- based on assumptions. Not that I am claiming to be the perfect Christian.
I would like to think some day I can meet this person that hurt so deeply and feel nothing- yet wish him well as my brother.
Also that I stop caring so much what others think. I worry particularly that other Christians judge me. I know guilt brings me to the cross- yet I suffer from false guilt also.
What I pray is this - Lord show me where I am wrong- yet also for clarity's sake show me where I am right.
That I will fully forgive also and see situations clearly in Jesus' eyes
Thank you

Lord show this child of yours that are with her no matter where they decide to serve you, and give them your peace. Erase away the scars she has from that hurtful relationship, wash away her memory of that man with calvary's blood. Give her a new song and joy in her heart as you continue to heal her from the past. May she realize that people are not perfect even those in church, help her to keep moving on and not to let them hinder her walk and relationship with you. I pray Lord that you will open the eyes of those blinded by their doctrination who think only the ones from their group, or who worship in the same building are save, these are like the Pharasees. Help this woman to ignore them, for she is serving you and not them. Continue to give her the strength to keep going serving you no matter what others say, for you are the one who died at the cross for us, not them, the one we serve and adore. In the mighty name of Jesus Christ I pray amen.
Psalm 18:2
The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

Thank you for praying and for these helpful words.
I am starting again just with Jesus and asking for the gift of discernment when i fellowship.
May you richly be blessed in Him.

In Jesus Name I pray mercy, grace, favor over this person. In Jesus Name I decree and declare Psalms 118:25 and abundantly life over this person. In Jesus Name I decree and declare what is impossible with people is possible with God over this person.
In Jesus Name I decree and declare 1 John 3:8 b) over this person. In Jesus Name I decree and declare "The Son of God came to destroy the works of the devil" over this person. In Jesus Name I decree and declare Zechariah 4:7 agaisnt any mountain which is against this person.

Lord's children are called kings first in Revelation 1:6 KJV. Is important to use authority and office of the king in spiritual realm. Also according with Exodus 20:5 is important to be free from any legal right from any unclean spirit.
In Jesus Name I decree and declare Exodus 14:14 and Deuteronomy 28:6-8 and 1 Chronicles 4:10 and Psalms 1:3 and Psalms 5:12 and Psalms 18:29 and Psalms 18:39 and Psalms 23 and Psalms 91 and Psalms 103:3 and Psalms 107:20 and Psalms 118:17 and Psalms 121:2 and 1 Peter 2:24 and Isaiah 54:17 and Ephesians 3:20 and Romans 8:37 and Philippians 4:13 and Luke 18:27 and Jeremiah 29:11 and 2 Samuel 22:33 and John 16:24 and according with Lord's will over this person.
Thank You Lord