RE: Please help me Lord, I am tired
To the One True Son of God, Jesus the Living Christ, who takes away the sins of the world. Please pray with me saints.
Every year my life gets more and more broken, and satan tears down my spiritual walls as fast as I can build them. And though I don't want to be, I am divorced from my dearest wife and help meet after over 8 years of marriage, as she has lost the faith, or pretends divorce is permissible in the eyes of the Lord.
If it isn't me shooting my own self in the foot spiritually through the lust of of the flesh, or satan having his prevailing worldly winds get me fired from job after job, for the stupidest of reasons even though I am always the hardest worker in the building, while horrible and immoral, Godless workers prosper and have no issues whatsoever, or my enemy attacking my lower back, in my 20s, so though I had the body of a personal trainer, I was an effective cripple.
It just gets so hard, so debilitating living with my relatives for the last few years, unable to get a home for me and my dearest son, Immanuel, who is 4 (get him half the time), because my work has been so sporadic and always ends abruptly, to the shock of my coworkers, who always know how good I am at my jobs and how hard a worker I am, never call off, never late, etc.
The Lord in His infinite wisdom tries me, but for the life of me I do not know why: every time I seem to get a handle on it, it reacts in some way I that completely befuddles the mind and spirit. And the effect it has on my self esteem is debilitating. I haven't looked people in the eyes in years, lest my grief shine out, perhaps; I do my best to avoid ANY interraction with fellow man: if I do, it's about some useless, safe topic like sports. My confidence is shattered, I am an emotionless, soul-less husk, just waiting for the grave. I pride myself on being a fighter in the Lord, but increasingly, the only emotion I know is resignation.
I have two jobs now, working 70 hours a week to play catch-up, and was just called in on my day off to have my job threatened over the simplest of matters, though I've never called off, been late, and always done great work. Such is the norm for me saints.
Please, true saints of His High Majesty in Jesus the Living Christ, the One True Son of God and God in the flesh, I BEG, I PLEAD, I CAJOLE you to pray that the bind of the our mutual enemy, that cowardly bastard satan, of lust might be broken from me. That his wicked binds and curses at my jobs might be broken. That my light within might be restored, that I may be the salt of the earth again, that I may return to my first love. I ask this only so that I may provide for me and my dearest son Immanuel, which is doubly hard divorced.
I also ask you pray that the Lord will open my ex wife's eyes to the Truth of His word, and show her in His eyes what she has done by divorcing. Pray the Lord return my help meet and wife to me, that he will keep her feet from advancing on the adulterous path in remarrying. Pray the Lord will break the false relationship she has with her "boyfriend," that she defends more than she ever did me. Pray the Lord break her foolish false pride in her job, as though it is anything but the Lord giving her victory. And pray the Lord give her a true heart of repentance, even as I have, for such is the Spirit. What's more, please pray that I have the love, the forgiveness, and the patience, to forgive and receive her when the Lord returns her to me.
I beg this of you saints, and may Jesus the Christ, He who was dead, and, and now lives forever more, give all those who stand with me in my darkest hour, a thousand times openly of what you do for me in secret.
May Jesus the Living Christ, bless you forever, and ever.
poeticism707
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