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Disintegrating Marriage
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ruthmil Offline
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Post: #1
Disintegrating Marriage

I am requesting prayer for my husband and our marriage. I have been separated from my husband for about a month. I moved out of our home because of mental anguish, anxiety, fear. I just couldn't take it anymore. We have been married for about 1 and a half years. Previously to me, my husband had a live in girlfriend for 5 and a half years whom he never wished to marry. During that time, he helped raise her 2 children. He considers these kids, his kids. His exgirlfriend finally left the home after she gave him an ultimatum to marry her. Just a month or two after that, is when we met. He was still seeing the kids. At first, early on in our relationship, when he told me about the kids and actually introduced me to one of them, I was ok with it. Shortly thereafter, his mom ( who would eventually become my mother-in-law) told me that I was crazy to let that relationship between him and the kids continue because it was trap from the ex girlfriend to get him back in their lives. It all made sense when the ex girlfriend found out that he was dating someone, she didn't let him see them anymore. Over a year went by and no mention of the kids. ( I did find out later that he tried contacting her several times ) I thought this chapter in his life was over. From August of last year to the present, it has just been a whirlwind. His communications with her increased incredibly during this time, through long phone conversations and text messages. At some point in December, She decided that he could start seeing the kids again. By this time, I had found out that her house was in foreclosure. You see, when she was living with him, she didn't work and her kids attended private school. He provided completely for her. It was baffling to me that during all these months, for a couple that NEVER argued or fought, the arguments were constant between us about this relationship. I had told him that he was opening a window to the devil, which he interpreted to mean that I was calling the kids the devil, To this day, he says he can't forget that. I was completely against this relationship for quite a while, but I finally gave in and told him that I would be willing to do it together. He never allowed for this to happen and said that would never work. I don't know if it was really him or if it was her telling him that she didn't want me around. Finally, in April, he recived a call from her saying that she didn't know why she was calling him, but that her mom was very ill in the hospital. He called me and told me that he had to go take care of the kids, which I understood. Instead, he saw the kids for 10 minutes and headed to the hospital at 2:30 in the afternoon and didn't come home till 4 am. Her mother did pass away that night. His white polo shirt that he was wearing, was full of mascara and blush. From that night on, everything went down hill very quickly. He felt like he needed to take care of the funeral arrangements, which he did. We didn't go on our spring break vacation because supposedly the service was going to be held during that time. I proposed to stay closer to home so that he could attend the service, while still giving our family a vacation. He said he didn't want to do that. That I should go and he would stay. I decided to stay with him. They never did the service that week, instead they put it off for another 2 weeks. By this time, the communication between my husband and his ex was constant. It was much more than just the kids. I even saw a text where she said that she was thinking of him. It got to a point where we were hardly communicating. All his communication was with her. The day of the funeral, we got into another argument because of some other texts that I saw and we agreed to talk that night when he returned. He said he would be back at about 9pm, but actually came home at about 1 am. As he walked in, he asked if I wanted to talk then or in the morning. I said then...and we talked. He announced to me that he had decided to spend all his available time with these kids and if that was ok with me, that was ok with him. So, I asked him to define available. He said.." all of it. After work, on the weekends...all of it. " In the days previous to this, he had told me many things.......That he felt that God was leading him to be the father to these kids ( They have a real father who sees them every other weekend and sometimes weekdays). He also said that maybe our marriage may have been a mistake. That if we wouldn't have gotten married then maybe he could have had that family back. That he wanted those kids living under his roof, to which I replied....what does that imply? I'm not a polygamist. He said he was struggling with all these issues and their answers and agreed to see a christian counselor. I set up the meeting and they met twice. That didn't seem to help. Anyway, it was all a mental torture for me, so I finally decided to leave. I confronted both of them, separately, after leaving. I love my husband and I miss him dearly. We are in the process of getting paperwork for a divorce, but I don't want that. I would like a reconciliation. I pray that God would reveal to my husband, clearly, what his role should be. That any soul ties or generational curses be broken. Just yesterday I saw my husband. He said that he missed me more than I know, but he doesn't budge. There are so many happy endings to stories like this. I would like God to use us as a testimony for him some day. Please pray for us.....for reconciliation and a new beginning. May God bless you all for this wonderful ministry.

Thank you,




Please pray for a reconciliation, for my husband to understand God's word and not try to interpret it in his way. For God to use circumstances in his lifento show my husband HIS will. ALso, for any soul ties or generational curses to be broken. For him to learn the value of a wife ( he's been married 3 times ) not including the live in girlfriend. And for God to reveal to me anything he wants me to learn from this.
(This post was last modified: 05-30-2009 02:51 PM by ruthmil.)
05-30-2009 02:41 PM
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mariarae Offline
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Post: #2
RE: Disintegrating Marriage

Dear Lord, I pray for this marriage, but more than the marriage I ask you to give peace to this wife. Help her to be strong, and realize that through you all things are possible, but that you want what is best for us. I ask Lord, that your will be done here, and if it is for this marriage to be mended, then I ask for these people to listen to you, and follow your direction for their lives. But Lord, if you feel that this is not right, then I pray for all involved. and ask that you will provide peace and comfort to all. Help them all to know that you are a loving God, but also a jealous God, and that You are to come first always. I thank you for listening and directing our lives. I pray in Jesus name, Amen
05-30-2009 03:14 PM
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Post: #3
RE: Disintegrating Marriage

Lord, you know where this relationship is heading and it is your desire for Ruth to be in a happy and blessed marriage. God I pray you help Ruth go through this difficult time. I pray that you help Ruth be strong and also show her your ways Lord. I pray for comfort. Lord, I do not understand the benefit of this relationship for Ruth if a man whom she is legally married is having an affair with his ex whether it is emotionally. He seems to be double-minded and do not take responsibility for his feeling for the women he had feelings. I pray for your forgiveness and I pray that you give him the wisdom to make the right choice and to take responsibility of his actions and feelings. I pray for your presence in this marriage and may your peace and strength be upon Ruth.In Jesus Name, I pray Amen!
06-01-2009 02:52 AM
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ruthmil Offline
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Post: #4
RE: Disintegrating Marriage

Thank you all for your prayers......I know that the Lord listens to all of them!

Many blessings to you and your families.

Ruthmil
06-01-2009 07:31 AM
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RE: Disintegrating Marriage

i prayed for you
stay close to Jesus and avoid bitterness.
God uses all circumstances for good for those who love Him.
06-01-2009 11:46 PM
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paula0331 Offline
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Post: #6
RE: Disintegrating Marriage

I know what you are going through as I am going through the same thing to get my kids back with me i have to get a divorce but don't want it so pray with me and talk to me anytime my e-mail is God Bless Paula
(This post was last modified: 03-27-2016 07:55 PM by admin.)
06-02-2009 09:32 AM
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bcshelvsme
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Post: #7
RE: Disintegrating Marriage

Lord I pray that your will be done in this marriage and in Ruth's life. Let her see she is a valuable person and doesn't deserves to be treated this way by anyone. May she feel your love sustaining her and giving her a clear mind and the strength she needs to make the right decisions. Have her see her husband for what he is a the selfish person. That he is just using the kids as an excuse to be near his x-girlfriend. May she see that he just want to have his cake and eat it too. Guide her Lord to a better life and a loving relationship in her life. May she make you the cornerstone of her life and allow you to lead her to solid ground instead of the quicksand she has been in. I ask and thank you in Jesus Precious Name and give You All The Honor and the Glory Heavenly Father, Amen! Warrior
Psalm 27
1 The Lord is my light and my salvation;
whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life;
of whom shall I be afraid?
2 When evildoers assail me
to eat up my flesh,
my adversaries and foes,
it is they who stumble and fall.
3 Though an army encamp against me,
my heart shall not fear;
though war arise against me,
yet I will be confident.
4 One thing have I asked of the Lord,
that will I seek after:
that I may dwell in the house of the Lord
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord
and to inquire in his temple.
5 For he will hide me in his shelter
in the day of trouble;
he will conceal me under the cover of his tent;
he will lift me high upon a rock.
6 And now my head shall be lifted up
above my enemies all around me,
and I will offer in his tent
sacrifices with shouts of joy;
I will sing and make melody to the Lord.
7 Hear, O Lord, when I cry aloud;
be gracious to me and answer me!
8 You have said, “Seek my face.”
My heart says to you,
“Your face, Lord, do I seek.”
9 Hide not your face from me.
Turn not your servant away in anger,
O you who have been my help.
Cast me not off; forsake me not,
O God of my salvation!
10 For my father and my mother have forsaken me,
but the Lord will take me in.
11 Teach me your way, O Lord,
and lead me on a level path
because of my enemies.
12 Give me not up to the will of my adversaries;
for false witnesses have risen against me,
and they breathe out violence.
13 I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord
in the land of the living!
14 Wait for the Lord;
be strong, and let your heart take courage;
wait for the Lord!
06-02-2009 12:54 PM
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