Mel,

I'm sorry for the confusion. I just didn't want you to take my advice as a spiritual attack--I was not saying in any way that your situation is not a spiritual attack. I wanted you to know that what I was saying was in love--and to help you, because I am right around your age and in my situation there were times where I just wanted to die...to give up. Sometimes, I still do. All I am suggesting is put your faith and trust in God to help you through this, especially with your ex-boyfriend situation. I have done that and so far I have seen progress. My friend and I have gotten a little closer since the summer, perhaps not in a romantic sense, but I definately consider it a friendship that is more dependable than before.

I know sometimes it feels like God is simply sitting around, but His timing is perfect. Just ask Him to open the door for you to be a witness to your ex--I realize that you have other requests, but it seems as though this is the most prominent (and if I'm wrong, I apologize)--this is the only one I think I can truly relate to and help you with. He'll prepare you and if you just trust in God and not necessarily the restoration of your relationship, you'll find a deeper joy than if you trust in your ex.

Please don't take this the wrong way. I'm not suggesting by any means that you may not get back with your ex--in fact, I'm hoping for the same in my own situation. However, I think the best thing for both of us to do is focus on the Lord--grow in Him and allow His love to flow through. Our love for our lost friends will never be enough, but God can shine through and use both of us as a tool to introduce them to Christ. Does that make sense?

Just don't focus so much on the reconciliation and in God's time, if it is His will, it will come to pass. You know for certain that it is the will of God to bring your ex to Christ, so focus on that--then worry about the relationship.

I hope that I haven't been offensive. I'm not trying to assume that I know what you're going through in every way. I just know how much it hurts to be rejected in love and I know that when I started to put God first and the salvation of my friend, it helped me to better coupe with the challenge of accepting God's "No" to my relationship for a higher "Yes."

Hope this has helped.

Guest Wrote:Mel,

I'm sorry for the confusion. I just didn't want you to take my advice as a spiritual attack--I was not saying in any way that your situation is not a spiritual attack. I wanted you to know that what I was saying was in love--and to help you, because I am right around your age and in my situation there were times where I just wanted to die...to give up. Sometimes, I still do. All I am suggesting is put your faith and trust in God to help you through this, especially with your ex-boyfriend situation. I have done that and so far I have seen progress. My friend and I have gotten a little closer since the summer, perhaps not in a romantic sense, but I definately consider it a friendship that is more dependable than before.

I know sometimes it feels like God is simply sitting around, but His timing is perfect. Just ask Him to open the door for you to be a witness to your ex--I realize that you have other requests, but it seems as though this is the most prominent (and if I'm wrong, I apologize)--this is the only one I think I can truly relate to and help you with. He'll prepare you and if you just trust in God and not necessarily the restoration of your relationship, you'll find a deeper joy than if you trust in your ex.

Please don't take this the wrong way. I'm not suggesting by any means that you may not get back with your ex--in fact, I'm hoping for the same in my own situation. However, I think the best thing for both of us to do is focus on the Lord--grow in Him and allow His love to flow through. Our love for our lost friends will never be enough, but God can shine through and use both of us as a tool to introduce them to Christ. Does that make sense?

Just don't focus so much on the reconciliation and in God's time, if it is His will, it will come to pass. You know for certain that it is the will of God to bring your ex to Christ, so focus on that--then worry about the relationship.

I hope that I haven't been offensive. I'm not trying to assume that I know what you're going through in every way. I just know how much it hurts to be rejected in love and I know that when I started to put God first and the salvation of my friend, it helped me to better coupe with the challenge of accepting God's "No" to my relationship for a higher "Yes."

Hope this has helped.

I see what you mean... It's the same thing that adoring1 had told me: salvation first, relationship next. You do make sense in your explanation, and I am also sorry that if I misunderstood in any way (sometimes I don't get things right away... and I might get a little carried away if I have thought wrongly. I'm trying to learn to not do that as much LOL). You are indeed right, this one is the most prominent one, since this was actually THE first prayer request I've posted here on this site as a Guest before I became a member. I'm glad you're making progress. For me, it seems to go backwards for me... but I'm still praying that progress will come soon... But honestly what I still don't get is your last sentence, "It helped me to better coupe with the challenge of accepting God's "No" to my relationship for a higher "Yes." " That one I got a bit confused on... Anyway, you really are helping me a bit. And I pray for your restoration and salvation as well. And thank you.

Mel,

You have been a blessing to me as well--seeing your situation has been an encouragement to me, because I feel that I am not the only one and I thank you for your prayers. What I meant in the last sentence was that God has said "No" to my relationship with the man I'm currently in love with, but I think that He can better use me to witness to him. I am very inexperienced when it comes to love and I know at times I have been tempted--I think back to when my friend originally took interest in me and I wonder what if it had turned into something romantic. If had constant make-out sessions or physical intimacy that was not promitted, I would be less of an effective witness. Knowing that I was tempted, the Lord has kept me out of the relationship and I think as his friend, the Lord can use me as a witness. The greater "Yes" comes in that the Lord can use me to help my friend get saved--I know for sure that it will come to pass, but it will be in God's timing.

So that's what I mean. Maybe the answer for your relationship is No right now, but it's so that God can bring something greater into your life. I'm not suggesting that this man isn't the one--that's entirely up to the Lord--but what I am saying is that the "NO" right now will eventually lead you to what the Lord wants for you. He wants your friend to be saved. Then, the rest is up to the Lord as far as your relationship is concerned--and by doing it this way, it will be better than what either one of us could have originally asked for.

I know that I would have trouble being with an unsaved man, because it would constantly bother me that he isn't saved--and as I said before, I think I would be tempted to do things that I shouldn't.
Does any of this make sense? I know I'm kind of rambling, but the sentence seemed to need greater explanation.

I hope this has helped you.

Dear Lord,

Please be with Mel. Lord, I know from being in my own situation how difficult it is to wait on someone I love to accept Christ. I pray Lord that You would come into Mel's life and help her to be a witness. Although You have said No to the relationship at this point, we know that You can use her in this time to be a witness and her friend can be saved. So I pray that his heart would be softened to listen to the words You would have Mel to speak. Please show her Your direction and open the door of opportunity so that her ex would be saved. I pray that You would be as a Light and show her ex's need of You and I pray that he would become a faithful servant of Christ.

If it is Your will, Father, I pray that after he is saved, I pray that You would put into his heart the restoration of love that Mel so desires. I ask that he would see her as You would have him to see her and if it is meant to be Lord, we know that You will work out all the kinks. We know that You will create an everlasting love that will bond them together as one. Please heal his heart through all of this and allow him to grow in You and I pray that he would be the leader Mel needs. Allow them both to serve You and be the couple You would have them to be.

I pray that You would show Mel Your will in all of this.

We thank You and praise You for all that You are going to do in this situation and for the miracles that You will work. We pray in Jesus' name. Amen.

Guest Wrote:Mel,

You have been a blessing to me as well--seeing your situation has been an encouragement to me, because I feel that I am not the only one and I thank you for your prayers. What I meant in the last sentence was that God has said "No" to my relationship with the man I'm currently in love with, but I think that He can better use me to witness to him. I am very inexperienced when it comes to love and I know at times I have been tempted--I think back to when my friend originally took interest in me and I wonder what if it had turned into something romantic. If had constant make-out sessions or physical intimacy that was not promitted, I would be less of an effective witness. Knowing that I was tempted, the Lord has kept me out of the relationship and I think as his friend, the Lord can use me as a witness. The greater "Yes" comes in that the Lord can use me to help my friend get saved--I know for sure that it will come to pass, but it will be in God's timing.

So that's what I mean. Maybe the answer for your relationship is No right now, but it's so that God can bring something greater into your life. I'm not suggesting that this man isn't the one--that's entirely up to the Lord--but what I am saying is that the "NO" right now will eventually lead you to what the Lord wants for you. He wants your friend to be saved. Then, the rest is up to the Lord as far as your relationship is concerned--and by doing it this way, it will be better than what either one of us could have originally asked for.

I know that I would have trouble being with an unsaved man, because it would constantly bother me that he isn't saved--and as I said before, I think I would be tempted to do things that I shouldn't.
Does any of this make sense? I know I'm kind of rambling, but the sentence seemed to need greater explanation.

I hope this has helped you.

Dear Lord,

Please be with Mel. Lord, I know from being in my own situation how difficult it is to wait on someone I love to accept Christ. I pray Lord that You would come into Mel's life and help her to be a witness. Although You have said No to the relationship at this point, we know that You can use her in this time to be a witness and her friend can be saved. So I pray that his heart would be softened to listen to the words You would have Mel to speak. Please show her Your direction and open the door of opportunity so that her ex would be saved. I pray that You would be as a Light and show her ex's need of You and I pray that he would become a faithful servant of Christ.

If it is Your will, Father, I pray that after he is saved, I pray that You would put into his heart the restoration of love that Mel so desires. I ask that he would see her as You would have him to see her and if it is meant to be Lord, we know that You will work out all the kinks. We know that You will create an everlasting love that will bond them together as one. Please heal his heart through all of this and allow him to grow in You and I pray that he would be the leader Mel needs. Allow them both to serve You and be the couple You would have them to be.

I pray that You would show Mel Your will in all of this.

We thank You and praise You for all that You are going to do in this situation and for the miracles that You will work. We pray in Jesus' name. Amen.

I think I get it... and I don't get it at the same time... I might get it sooner or later... but thanks for your prayers and words of encouragement.

Today I cried and talked to God about me and my exboyfriend and my family... I still want him to be saved... and for him to be back together with me and for the both of us to be the couple He intended us to be... I still want him to be my husband... I feel I cannot accept anyone else, you know. I feel he is the one... and can be the one and more once he comes to Christ... Sometimes I feel God is just sitting around, watching me cry, and shaking his head as if saying "Keep crying and praying; it just won't happen." But God is not like that. At least I hope He's not... I prayed desperately for God to save my ex... and to save our relationship; to mend it to where it once was... the relationship me and my ex had was magical... then within a blink of an eye it all fell apart... and I don't know whether I'll ever get that back... but I know God can do the impossible... And He did say we will receive whatever we ask for in prayer... and God does not lie, so it HAS to be true right...? I prayed to God for him to save my exboyfriend, then to reunite us and reconcile our relationship so our relationship can be more blessed than ever and more. I felt like I doubted that would happen for a second... but I asked God to forgive me if I doubted that one second... I don't want to doubt... because when I do, the prayer is canceled... And I have to ask again and try not to doubt again... I don't know what to do... I prayed the prayer like this:

"God... I don't know if anyone have prayed this prayer before... but this is what I am asking of you... I ask of you... to save my exboyfriend and mold him into the husband you intended him to be... for me. I may not be perfect, and this prayer may not have been the perfect prayer, but please... save my ex... save our relationship... not just a mere friendship, but the romantic relationship me and him once had... we even thought about getting married... Lord, I still want to marry this man... this man is the one I want to have... this is the man I feel I am destined to marry... I cannot accept anyone else... That may seem selfish, but it's true. My heart is for this man... and this man only. Please Lord... send my ex a message, a dream, a person/angel, a vision; something, ANYTHING to have him come to You... and then to ME... the one calling out to him, his future wife; ME. Let him know... his future wife, I, am still waiting for him... I will accept him with open arms and heart again... Please Lord... I believe You can do it... You have the power to do ANYTHING and EVERYTHING, Nothing is impossible with You! In Jesus name... please... please make it so... help me and him... quickly... Attach the detachment from his heart once again... and have my last name changed to his in matrimony... in Jesus name I pray... Amen."

That's all I prayed... seems like a uncommon prayer... but it's how I feel right now... and I'm crying as I typed that too... I love this man so much... I would give anything to have him back... and I still want to have him as part of our family... and to bring this family together forever more... That's all I want... Amen.

Mel, when I read this I almost cried myself...I almost cried because I know the pain you are feeling...and I know the sorrow that is in your heart. But you need to understand some things...God wants to save this young man. He wants it far more than you do...His desire is to see no-one lost...but it is not God's decision...it is the young man's. The Spiritual Law that He created will not allow Him to override this young man's free will...and that is why it is so important to pray for his salvation but as a singular focus. Until that is done...until that is accomplished...God has no other things in his heart for this young man. God is far less concerned with who he marries than if he goes to hell for eternity. And it is this young man's choice. I want to point out some things to you that I have learned from your posts. I do this so that you can see how much effort God is putting into trying to take the scales from this young man's eyes.

He fought in Afghanistan...one of the most dangerous war theaters since Vietnam and God brought him home alive. Many, many did not make it...they came home in caskets draped with flags and many were not saved. Many soldiers who had this experience came to the Lord in the Field...others when they returned home. My son-in-law was a career man...and fought in many theaters and became a Chaplin in the ARMY before he retired and has shared many of these stories with my daughter and me. It is how he himself came to the Lord as a young man.

He has PTSD...but it is not severe enough to be hospitalized...many men and women who have this type of trauma develop trauma induced schizophrenia which is very, very serious...others develop psychotic breaks and end up in mental wards for life. With long term therapy...your ex has a good chance at recovery...so you can see God's hand again. But so far your ex is not listening. He has hardened his heart to the Lord...and God cannot do anything but continue to turn up the heat on him...to encourage him to make the choice. I do not know if he stands to be re-deployed or not because trust me there will be another war theater soon...but if he does Mel...he could truly be in danger of losing his life and going the way of the lost...forever. If you really love him...please for his sake leave your EROS love for him until a later time...move into Agape...love him like God does...and pray for his salvation day and night. God loves you Mel...but he also loves this man...and prayers that are self serving do not please God...they will not move him...I want to ask that you read God's word about love...below I hope you gain something from it...When God speaks of these things he is addressing love as He sees it...the kind in which He takes interest...Agape love...In these passages...he is actually describing His Son Jesus the Christ...He is not interested or concerned with EROS...please think on these things...I pray that God will mend up your heart and show you how to walk with Him in less pain and less anxiety...and allow you to develop a healthier focus for your life for now. It is dangerous to your own mental health and emotional well being for you to remain this distraught for as long as you have. I pray with all my heart that he reaches this young man...and that this young man will listen...and open his heart to the Living God for himself...for his eternal well being. God bless you Mel...wait on the Lord.

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. (1 Corinthians 13:4-13) In Jesus name...Amen!

adoring1 Wrote:Mel, when I read this I almost cried myself...I almost cried because I know the pain you are feeling...and I know the sorrow that is in your heart. But you need to understand some things...God wants to save this young man. He wants it far more than you do...His desire is to see no-one lost...but it is not God's decision...it is the young man's. The Spiritual Law that He created will not allow Him to override this young man's free will...and that is why it is so important to pray for his salvation but as a singular focus. Until that is done...until that is accomplished...God has no other things in his heart for this young man. God is far less concerned with who he marries than if he goes to hell for eternity. And it is this young man's choice. I want to point out some things to you that I have learned from your posts. I do this so that you can see how much effort God is putting into trying to take the scales from this young man's eyes.

He fought in Afghanistan...one of the most dangerous war theaters since Vietnam and God brought him home alive. Many, many did not make it...they came home in caskets draped with flags and many were not saved. Many soldiers who had this experience came to the Lord in the Field...others when they returned home. My son-in-law was a career man...and fought in many theaters and became a Chaplin in the ARMY before he retired and has shared many of these stories with my daughter and me. It is how he himself came to the Lord as a young man.

He has PTSD...but it is not severe enough to be hospitalized...many men and women who have this type of trauma develop trauma induced schizophrenia which is very, very serious...others develop psychotic breaks and end up in mental wards for life. With long term therapy...your ex has a good chance at recovery...so you can see God's hand again. But so far your ex is not listening. He has hardened his heart to the Lord...and God cannot do anything but continue to turn up the heat on him...to encourage him to make the choice. I do not know if he stands to be re-deployed or not because trust me there will be another war theater soon...but if he does Mel...he could truly be in danger of losing his life and going the way of the lost...forever. If you really love him...please for his sake leave your EROS love for him until a later time...move into Agape...love him like God does...and pray for his salvation day and night. God loves you Mel...but he also loves this man...and prayers that are self serving do not please God...they will not move him...I want to ask that you read God's word about love...below I hope you gain something from it...When God speaks of these things he is addressing love as He sees it...the kind in which He takes interest...Agape love...In these passages...he is actually describing His Son Jesus the Christ...He is not interested or concerned with EROS...please think on these things...I pray that God will mend up your heart and show you how to walk with Him in less pain and less anxiety...and allow you to develop a healthier focus for your life for now. It is dangerous to your own mental health and emotional well being for you to remain this distraught for as long as you have. I pray with all my heart that he reaches this young man...and that this young man will listen...and open his heart to the Living God for himself...for his eternal well being. God bless you Mel...wait on the Lord.

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. (1 Corinthians 13:4-13) In Jesus name...Amen!

I guess that's all I can do... I love him so much... so much I don't want him to go to hell... I don't want him to suffer anymore... I still claim myself as his future wife... and I still want him to come to the Lord... I have no choice but to pray for his salvation day in and day out... but what if God doesn't get to him...? What if Satan has hardened his heart forever...? There are many people who have lived their lives and never got saved... as if no one has prayed for their salvation...

I don't even remember exactly HOW I got saved... I remember it was my 17th birthday... and me, my dad and my mom were at Walmart... we were at the parking lot in the car about to go home... until my dad's pacemaker kicked in... he wasn't responding... I was frantic... we called an ambulance from that parking lot... the EMTs that were on the phone with her, my mom, were telling her how to check for his pulse... his pulse at first wasn't there... at all... Me, I was crying outside of the car, "Why God WHY?! Why today of all days!? WHY!?" After 25 seconds, what I thought was my dad's pacemaker, kicked in again, and that time revived him... Long story short, when we got to the hospital, and Dad was recovering, the doctors told me and my mom that according to the pacemaker check... dad was actually dead for 25 seconds before the pacemaker kicked in again. He flatlined for 25 seconds... then his heart suddenly kicked in again... it wasn't the pacemaker that did it... his heart kicked in a beat which revived him... my mom after that explained to me, God saved his life... I don't remember exactly most of the day between that, but I remember I was crying on my mother's shoulder... thanking God... and I may not remember exactly what happened afterwards, but I got saved that day... Maybe God got to me (and my father who got saved that day too) by reviving my father after a 25-second death. I don't know if my mother ever prayed for my salvation... maybe she did or didn't, I don't know... but God saved my dad... and saved me too... on my 17th birthday.

I'm hoping God can save my ex with such an impact like He did me. Not to wish any harm upon him or anything, God knows I don't want that to happen, but to get him to Him with such an impact like my salvation... I dunno how He's gonna do it... but I know he will... He surely saved me because... well... I knew some God existed... but I never was a Christian. You could say... I was Agnostic too. I don't know what to call myself back then, someone who didn't understand who God was or who Jesus was, and I didn't know if He was real or not... my mom read scriptures from the Bible when I was a little girl... I thought they were just bedtime stories... even when I was 10-11-12 years old... I knew a God existed... but I didn't know He was THE God Mom believed in. It's kind of confusing... but that's how I got saved... and I really really realllllly want him saved... I love him... I love him so much... and I'm going to wait on his salvation... so we both can reconcile in a blessed way... I really want that... I really do.

Mel...Whether he receives Salvation or not is in his own hands. He has I am certain heard the Good News of God...and he will again...but the way that Spiritual law works...God sends the message...sends the messengers...but then we, each one of us has to make the choice. Satan surely will try to distract him...but Satan cannot make the choice for him either...it will be his and his alone. God CAN save him...but he MUST ask in faith believing that God is...that Jesus is and that he did what the Word said he did. One of the most meaningful passages in the Bible for many Christians is this...

"2My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 13Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. 14You are my friends if you do what I command." (John 15:12-14)

God did that for us in the Person of His Son...He can do no more...we can do no more for this young man...we must simply pray and hope that he will listen. Be strong in the Lord Mel...and continue learn to respect his ways. Sometimes we do not get what we want when we want it...sometimes we don't at all...but there is always a reason when God does not do as we ask...make a commitment to yourself and to the the Father...that you will wait on the Lord. I can guarantee you that you will be much more content in your life if you do. I love you in Christ...Amen!

...What can I do... I feel like I'm losing hope now... like there is absolutely nothing I can say to God that can have him reward me the desires of my heart as He promised... He promised... He promised! And now I'm starting to think He might not live up to that promise... I've prayed for this man for months... days... weeks... hours and minutes... nothing... Doesn't He know that is a desire of my heart...? To have the man I love back in my arms? He PROMISED... He promised He would... and now there is a chance I will never get it, and HE PROMISED this to me...? What, is it not what HE wants me to have?! Always what HE wants, I believe. Just to please HIM... for OUR benefits... yet he PROMISED the DESIRES of MY HEART... Just how long do I have to wait just to see if He is going to live up to that PROMISE...? If He doesn't lie, then surely he HAS to hear my prayers, see my tears, and see my physical and emotional being going up and down in faith to distraught to faith again. What can I do? Just how long... How long can I believe in a "promise" that might never even come? I'm losing hope all of a sudden... I don't want to lose hope... I can't... I love him... I don't want him to suffer... Satan, why do you do this to me? Why this man?! WHY did you have to distract HIM!? WHY did you have to rule HIM!? I'm more mad at Satan than I am myself... like I could have done something to prevent this from ever happening! SATAN WHY DID YOU DO THIS?! WHY DID YOU MAKE MY LOVER AN UNBELIEVER!? WHY DID YOU MAKE HIM NOT THINK THERE IS A GOD?! WHY DID YOU HARDEN HIS HEART!? WHY DID YOU MAKE HIM INTO A DIFFERENT PERSON!? Hate is the emotion that Satan brings in us... but I don't think there is a law saying I shouldn't hate Satan, BECAUSE I DO! I HATE SATAN MORE THAN EVER. Why can't Satan just die already...? Why do I have to wait until God comes back just for him to die? If there was one prayer I could ever pray for, I would pray to God to kill Satan and leave us all alone. If God can take our souls, why can't he DESTROY HIS?! I rather be more content than to have Satan gone... dead and gone... THEN I might be more content... But NO... He has to take the one I love from the get-go... My exboyfriend has gone through a LOT since childhood... to the point to where he finally became Agnostic... I know of his past... and there's no wonder why he's like this, an unbeliever... I may have thought the same thing at the same too... but WHY MUST HE GET HIM TO THINK THIS?! SATAN PUT THAT IN HIS HEAD, NOT HIM... I know my lover better than he could know himself... And Satan is distracting him to no end, making him in jeopardy to burn in Hell and have him suffer 100 times worse forever... I don't want that... God can't You do something...? Something beyond anything even You have ever done...? Can't He see my tears...? Can't He see how much I still want to be in this man's life...? I do not want to be in any other man's life... only to be with him... is all I want... If God tries to bring another... I'll reject it all together... selfish, maybe, but God promised me the desires of my heart... If that means that MY desires have to be HIS desires, then what's the point of desiring anything, knowing it's just what HE wants anyway...? Lord, I'm confused... I'm scared... I'm worried to no end... God please... I don't care what You do to get him to You... just help him quickly... I cannot stop thinking about him... I miss him... Just thinking about him... my love of my life... going to hell just because SATAN and HIS DUMB EXISTENCE blocks his mind and heart to the One that created him... God's creation... that man... is so beautiful... And for us to be married as one and saved would be the best thing I could ever ask for! ...I seriously do not want another... just the one I have my eye and heart on all this time... And for him to have God's love and mine... with no more distractions and blocks from Satan... God please... please, I know you cannot override free will... but Lord, I could still have thought You weren't real because my dad flatlined, though revived on MY birthday... That day of all days, I could have said "Why did you have this happen on my special day? Why today? And why my daddy!?" I could have said all that... yes I even thought that way too... but You did save his life... and mine and my mother's at my birth... Please God... save his life too... even though he has to choose... God please... have him to choose You and also to reconcile with me... Please... please... I'm so confused... I WISH SATAN COULD DIE AND WE DIDN'T HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL THE END OF THE WORLD. I hate Satan... I hate him... Surely I can hate him... He's a liar... a killer... a taker of all things precious! And my exboyfriend is precious... and he had to have him have a set mindset of an unbeliever... Can God really turn stone hearts to flesh and blood... can He really do that...? Can He really do that for my ex? ...Lord please... for my ex's sake and for mine... please... do just a little more of what You can do... If you can't, then I lost hope, because even You have your limits... And You are supposed to be a limitless God... and I believe You are... please... In Jesus name, I ask of You... leave the 99 sheep, me being one of those 99... to find my ex, that one sheep that wandered off... I'll be fine... I think I will be fine... just put your hands on my ex... keep them there... I can sacrifice myself for the Glory of God to save another can I? So please... let me be that sacrifice... And put your hands and messages and angels on my exboyfriend... I'll even send my guardian angels to him... If I could lay down my life, my angels, and His hands and the protection that they provide just so my ex can be saved... so be it. I'll do it.

Lord... this may seem like the most riskiest, uncommon and even the most shocking prayer no one would ever think of praying if they were to pray it... but this is it: Lord... go ahead and take Your hands off of me... the protection that They provide... and place them and keep them on my ex until he is saved... Lord, this may seem very crazy... but I am sacrificing my own protection... just to have the man I love live eternal life... and a prosperous life on Earth... Guide him to You... and once that is done... Guide him to me... so we both can have Your glory together... I still believe in You... I still know You are my savior... I will be fine because I know You still have my back whenever I call Your name... And once I need Your help, I will call on You... But now... I sacrifice my protection... I know You will always be there for me... but I sacrifice my protection... I ask for Your hands to be placed on my ex... and not on me unless I do call for You... More than likely I can call on You tonight for prayer and tomorrow or the next day... but I will live to my word... and offer You my sacrifice for the salvation of my ex... I still have angels looking upon me... that's all I think I will need for now... That may seem unlikely for a Christian to ask for... but this is for the salvation of a loved one... and I mean a LOVED one... God... it's okay, Father... do not weep for my sacrifice... I feel I am doing what is right... for another one's sake... I'm sacrificing my own protection... Your hands... to be placed upon my ex and keeping them there until he is saved... this may run for a long time, or it could run until tomorrow... not sure at this point... but it's what I am asking for you to do... in Jesus name... find the one sheep that has wandered... and leave me as if I was the 99 sheep that stayed... I am going to stay... You can find the lost sheep. This is a shocking petition... but I want that done... for the salvation of my ex... I could be risking my life with no protection from His hands... but I know He still has me in Spirit... but it's a risk I am willing to take... for Him... and for the salvation of my ex... If it doesn't seem right for me to do this in your mind... it's still a sacrifice I am willing to offer... I am saving a life... by risking my own... I'm not going to kill myself... but rather risk my protection to protect the one I truly love... if that's not being a witness... I don't what is at this point... In Jesus name... make it so. Amen.

Mel...enough! The first paragraph of your post approaches blasphemy in how you are speaking of our God. I for one love him and find the tone that you take with him and about him very offensive. If you do not want to follow His will don't. But don't profess to be a Christian any more either because that is one of the requirements. I asked you once before to please be respectful of our Father...but clearly you do not see that to be important. Only getting what you want is... and the truth be known...God will not save this man for you to marry him. It is not about you! Everything is not about you! There are people posting prayers on this board that are dying...or dealing with dying...or losing their entire lives, there are a lot of people suffering and like you waiting and many have been waiting for years! What makes you think that you are any different? You go on and on about some man who has told you point blank he doesn't want you, won't want you and you act as though this is the end of the world. Well it isn't and frankly you need to grow up! I f this man chooses to become saved he will...but if he doesn't your hissy fits and disrespect to God and therefore other Christians won't change it.

God did not make your boyfriend an unbeliever...neither did Satan. Your boyfriend made his own choice. God did not make you fall in love with an unbeliever...you did that on your own knowing full well that God forbid you to date one. You are now angry because you did not follow his instructions. God does not owe you anything, you owe him everything...and if your prayers don't line up with his will he won't answer them...if you don't like it...that is just too bad. He is God... not you and he gets to make the judgment call. If you don't like that oh well! If you see the way you are behaving as delighting in God then you need to get some serious help! And until you learn how to do so and revere him...you will not get the answers you are looking for. Your temper tantrums are very unappealing Mel and they don't change anything. Only poorly behaved children act like this when they don't get what they want...and wise parents know when they need the rod applied to their backsides. Keep it up Mel...and God will apply it to yours!

Jesus...keep me near the cross and keep this kind of impurity far from my soul!