Sorry to be a pest again. I wasted last 3 1/2 years at home feeling depressed and scared and indecisive. My husband is still paying bills and mom groceries. Past year my husband and his gf making comments about me getting a job, which I get. I feel like I need and want to go back and get some training either community college, which is probably cheapest option, or trade school, I've always felt bad I didn't get something when younger. Of course, my husband and friend and even my mother are NOT encouraging me to go back to school because they want me to work full time and bring in money now, asap. I understand, but I honestly don't think working some place like Walmart is going to help in the long run when the kids graduate high school (daughter in 10th now, son 5th) and my husband definitely not paying bills anymore, obviously, my mom isn't going to live with me forever or heaven forbid she dies. I don't think I can honestly work 40 hours a week and go to school full time plus I believe you have to be full time student to get financial aid and part time would take longer and I'm already 50 which doesn't help. My mom says I can't just work part time, less money. My mom also truly believes a person can live on their own, on minimum wage: rent, food, utilities, clothes. Lol. Without some school I think maybe I could make between minimum wage and maybe 12 hour at the most, at that's hard to get. I don't mean to sound rude, but do you think I'd make much more or more than that if I went back to school? Is it worth it to go back and maybe even have to take a student loan out? Can you get a liveable job without a 4 year degree? Not sure how much you need per hour to pay for basics stuff and own a car. How hard to get hired at middle age realistically? Is it rude of me to try to depend on my husband to pay all or most of bills maybe another two years? Does anyone know if the welfare office would give me food stamps to defer costs and or cash assistance if I was in school full time and work part time? I could help buy food instead of my mother all and extra grocery money go to husband for bills and also money from part time job and or welfare. I think husband pays bills for kids not me, he works nights. Does anyone know of any legitimate scholarships for adults going back to school or scholarships for low income adults? I've gotten email for school scholarships but you have to fill out info for schools, try to get you to enroll in schools, sales people call you. I really want God to bless me if I go back to school, I hope I'm not being selfish but right now I have help but in the long run it's just me, no husband to help or mother. I don't even know if I can get aid for school or welfare since me and husband not divorced, no legal separation in PA. I really want a hand up not a hand out. Prayers please. Also, not sure if me being depressed or moody is because of life situation or change of life (hormones), sorry men. I have appointment in about 2 weeks with gynecologist to see if I need hormones/medicine, I'm afraid to take stuff, heard it needs to be monitored and higher risk of stroke, breast cancer, ovarian cancer. I am just very irritable, angry and depressed sometimes. I need to past through this to be positive and move forward and be nicer to family. Feel like I have pms alot, lol. I just also need to get out of the house throughout the week besides Sunday church and grocery shopping, I'm in a major rut past few years, I'm so indecisive and driving myself and others nuts. I really want to have a life change, like a second chance because time feels like it's running out and I really need a career and independence to break free. Thanks for any prayers. Without God things are hopeless with God things are possible, prayer is vital. I'm not greedy, just want a place for me and kids, pay rent or mortgage, utilities every month, groceries, some new clothes when needed, a decent safe car and afford to maintain, be able to have simple fun once in a while and maybe some money in my pocket to by something like holiday decorations, a candle, bath stuff .