(Believers - we must not forget that God wants us to laugh and be cheerful with him.)
Proverbs 17:22 / A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.
Proverbs 15:13 / A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance: but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken.
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One Sunday morning, the minister told the congregation that he was going to say a series of words, and he wanted them to sing the song that came to mind, when he said each word.
-- The first word he said was "Rock" They immediately started singing "Rock of Ages."
-- The second word he said was "Blood" and they sang "Power in the Blood."
-- The third word was "Cross" and they began singing "The Old Rugged Cross."
-- The fourth word he said was "Sex", everyone gasped and then it got very quiet, then way in the back of the church an 87 yr old lady stood up and started singing "Memories."
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A country preacher had become sorely vexed by an old coot who would always fall asleep in his services. He decided to teach him a lesson.
The next service, with the old man snoring away in the back row, he whispered softly: "Everybody who would like to go to Heaven, stand up.". And everybody did except the old coot, who continued admiring the backs of his eyelids.
As everybody sat back down, the preacher hollered at full force: "ALL Y'ALL WHO WANT TO GO TO THE DEVIL, STAND UP!!!"
The old coot leaped to his feet, looked at the Preacher, and said: "Well, Preacher, I don't know what we are voting on; but it looks like you and I are the only ones for it."
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A man in Phoenix calls his son in New York two days before Thanksgiving and says, “I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough."
“Pop, what are you talking about?” the son screams.
“We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer,” the father says. “We’re sick of each other, and I’m sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her.”
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. “Like heck they’re getting divorced,” she shouts, “I’ll take care of this.”
She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at her father, “You are NOT getting divorced. Don’t do a single thing until I get there. I’m calling my brother back, and we’ll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don’t do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?” and hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone, turns to his wife and says “Okay, Honey. The kids coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way.”
