Lord help Mel, and let ur will be done in her life. Amen.

Thanks for your prayers.

God, I come to you today with a lot on my mind. At first I kept getting negative thoughts as in my desires will eventually die since nothing is happening. Sometimes it all seems to go backwards instead of forward. And for a split second, all of the desires were slowly dying away... but then I remember that faith is the key to having the desires of my heart granted. They came back slowly in an instant. I cannot give up these desires, these desires I feel YOU have put in my heart. I was reading an eBook someone has given me earlier and it says in the eBook "You are seeking a miracle of love, the most important of all gifts that He blesses us with. Do you think He is going to say “No”? If it is His utmost wish for us to love and be loved, it is safe to say that asking His intervention in matters involving love are a sure yes!" And a miracle of RESTORED love with myself and my exboyfriend, and for my mom and dad to be happy and healthy and free from addictions (mother's smoking) are the sure-fire desires that I have. All of these desires that I have are out of love and nothing else. I always thought it was selfish of me to ask God all of these things... And I always see these prayer requests that seem so much... "bigger" than my own... And I started to think that my prayers are so much smaller than these requests... But is nothing too big or small for God to give unto? I don't think so. Still, I still feel a little bit discouraged this week about these desires and how small they're starting to become for many. Yet, I still claim and stand on these desires every blessed day, for all are out of love, not out of selfish/worldly things.

I still cry out to God, "God, you ARE the God of impossible AND the God of second chances and I stand by YOUR promises and YOUR word that you have taught me. I stand by so many certain scriptures that I sometimes feel all of this is too good to be true, but God you DO work miracles and very slowly I get small little nudges of hope! ...And you do not turn down any prayers either, right? ...Please, with your mercy and grace... please do not turn down mine either... the enemy makes me things you are saying "No" to all of these prayers, including the main one that is dear to my heart: having my mom, dad, myself, and my exboyfriend, who shall become my future husband as I stand on this miracle, to be an everlasting family. To have these people together happy, healthy, and lovingly will definitely be the miracle I claim to have. Please, with Your promises, fulfill this desire of my heart, as well as all of them, so that Your name will always be glorified, even though I glorify it so often. Lord, please do not let me feel discouraged by these prayers of mine and bless me with more patience and faith... even though sometimes I feel as if I cannot take it anymore, that You would maybe toss me a gold coin instead of a copper token so my faith will still be increased and stabilized... In Jesus Name, Lord, please make this so...! Amen."

I am letting God work on this situation, because Lord knows I cannot do jack-squat about it even if I tried. Yet I still have the need and urge to talk to God how I am feeling on this and it makes me feel a little better... I still feel a bit discouraged today but hopefully my faith will come back. Please keep praying for me and for my desires to be fulfilled once more. Amen.