(12-11-2011 12:47 PM)inhislove Wrote:  Father I pray you will love and guide Paula as she walks today, tommorrow, I pray favor over her at her work place, I ask that your love begins to grow deeper in her so those arond her will see your wonderious works. I pray restoration for her with her family life. I ask you to lead Tim in the direction you want for his life in order to please only you Lord. I pray for strenght and guidance for Paula today I ask that you fill her with your peace and be her comfort this day Lord and the days that approach during these times of holidays.

Paula I to was abused by a husband, when I finaly got the nerve up to stop this abuse my own sister turned against me, told him when he was to served, call him behind my back daily over everything I attemping to do.

In order to justify it all I seeked other avenues to comfort me, they were all wrong, I lost my sons respect at some point, I went back and forth with him and he became distant with me as if he didn't know me, my husband used this alot against me in his favor and things got worse I lost my lost my sons love,for a awhile I thought he hated me and my daughter in law always was against me disrespected
me and I loved her as a daughter, protected her even when they separated for 6 years, and then they reunited and had two more children and appear to be happy know. The things I am saying your children do not hate you they probably don't understand why you stayed with a man who hurt you and them to a degree, until they were removed sometimes women think it them we are thaught alot to be quite and take it thats our husband. Paula can I ask you do you want to live through that again, do you truly want to love a man that hurt you and took something precious from you, you are praying for him to change and I pray God does a miracle in him, Paula I am asking you don't you think more and better of who you are in Christ? God does see and want what is his gift to you manifest in you, don't get me wrong I admire you for standing, I have been in your shoes, prayed for 13 years for change until God met me deep in my soul and I receive the strenght to move forward.
I am married again the man he not he does not hit me, he has his own new set of problems which I have been praying for, but Paula understand Tim is not going to remove your pain I am not condemimg you for your wants of being restored Paula you can never go backwards only forward, you need you get up, shake the dirt from yourself and move forward healthy so your child that are almost adults can see that you have overcome all that took place, Tim needs to seek God in order to change and in order for you to be with him.

I am also going to tell you a dear friend of mine is a Pastor, the son told over and over about his fathers abuse with his mother and them as growing up, but because of his mothers love for God they just never thought about anything going wrong, one day he was confiding in me I told I had been there and he needed to get his mother out of the house and protect her. I guess he didn't completely take it seriously, when she did decide to go, the father went to the daughters home called her out, shot her once , twice, pulled her in the care shot her again and thru her in the gutter like she was garbage then went home, the police caught up with him he tried to kill himself but missed. The thing is this woman was 72 years old the husband 79 the wonderful mother to five and grandmother took this abuse for over 50 years of marriage, even though the husband attended church (both boys Pastors) the man did not change, PAULA a man has to want to change
the mother was a good person know one not even her children understand why she stood so long, the thing he has free will the person needs to seek God for change a true change Paula. I don't know you I have read your prayers for along time and I have seen you attacked as well, I don't feel your unstable I would like to think your lost and misguided we all want to be loved and apart of a family, you have afamily Paula that got damaged like so many of us do. Please find the strenght to get up and ask the father his will is for your life, ask that he restore the relationship with at least one child to start so you can feel that love again. Paula you can't go backwards only forwards so you can show what you are really made of.

I know this is lenghty I've read from you daily for along time, Paula you can overcome have a victory in your life. unless a woman is beaten nearly to death its hard to understand from another point of view, but at times you appear to be co-dependent this could be why your family says it was you fault, I am not being ugly Paula I just would like you to understand where I am coming from! as a woman of God we all seem to be prayer warriors for our families, I think God may have removed you because he is not finished with you yet and maybe he saved your life so you can witness and help others. Loneiness is hard, esp this time of the year we become very sensitive and sometimes think what we had was better than what we have now, Paula only you and I with the help of Jesus can change which path Jesus has for us. Please read this and don't reject what I am saying Paula Jesus loves you and did protect you, so please seek him for guidance, you will be happy! In Jeus name Amen

That is very sound advice. I agree. Why go back to an evil man so he can hurt you some more. Your ex-husband is your ex-husband's problem and I would let him go. It is quite possible that God delivered you from him because he was destroying you. Have you ever considered that? Based on what I've read of your posts your ex-husband doesn't have many if any redeeming qualities so what is it exactly that you love about him? I think you are obsessed with him and somehow emotionally dependent on him but what exactly do you love about him? What does he do that you respect? How does he make you feel about yourself when you are around him? I know I should talk but these are all important questions to consider. If you are somehow addicted to your ex-husband then it will be hard to move on but perhaps that is the best thing to do long term. Don't waste any more of your time on misery. Start to rebuild.

---

(12-11-2011 05:11 AM)paula0331 Wrote:  pray for me still not doing well, lately cannot trust people as all are failing me. asking for 2012 to be better for me. thanks job, car, house relationships with my family tim to remove g/f and come back to me. amen please dont judge me now is christmas time and time for prayer for those hurting and i am really really hurting.

You say all are failing you. What is it exactly that you are looking for? And who are you looking for it from?

---

(12-11-2011 05:11 AM)paula0331 Wrote:  pray for me still not doing well, lately cannot trust people as all are failing me. asking for 2012 to be better for me. thanks job, car, house relationships with my family tim to remove g/f and come back to me. amen please dont judge me now is christmas time and time for prayer for those hurting and i am really really hurting.

I have some thoughts for you to consider. Dwelling on yourself all the time and your problems will make and keep you miserable. Believe me I know from personal experience. It seems you are stuck in a rut. You need to do something to get out. I would suggest you do something to get the focus off of yourself. A hobby, music or just trying something different. And since it is the Christmas season there are lots of homeless and unfortunate people that probably feel that no one cares about them and would love to have someone to talk to. Maybe volunteer at such a charity and try to get the focus off of yourself. Maybe then you will feel a little better and get some clarity into your situation when you stop dwelling on it. And I am not judging you. I sometimes fall into this same pattern and need to kick myself in the behind every once in a while.

I also believe you mentioned something about a washing machine in some other post. There are businesses that re-condition appliances and they probably would pick up your non-working appliance for free. Check it out.