20 years is a long time and I am sorry you are in this position but DONT GIVE UP. Hand it over to God, work on whay makes you happy within the marriage. Hand your husband over to God and start praying to God to help you change what needs to be changed and to work in your husbands life...and believe it will get better...and watch God work. I know how lonely you must be and my heart goes out to you, it does, but as two Christians in marriage, God has so much more for you. Believe this. AMEN.