Paula, my sister, let go! You say your life is a mess...but you continue to seek after the things that made it that way, Your children are elsewhere, being raised by others and you continue to seek after a man that has moved on? Paula...God is not in this! The word says that when a MAN finds a wife it is a good thing. There is no reference to a woman stalking a man, begging him for his return, begging him for crumbs of affection in that Word. Paula...you will never find that which you seek in Tim or any other man. You have given Tim the position in your life that belongs to God. The quest for Tim has replaced God in your life and it is because of this that you remain confused and unhappy. Stop living in the past so that you can build a future...and that future starts with loving God more than anyone or anything else. You cannot attract love when you are broadcasting desperation... not from your children and not from a man! No-one wants to be with the desperate...for that is NOT LOVE. Paula if you will allow Him to...God will teach you to respect yourself as you respect Him more. You are not a little no-body that needs to beg Tim or anyone else for anything. You are the child of a King...royalty from the blood-line of Christ. When you start seeing yourself that way...you will see a whole new potential for yourself. Please in the name of all that is Holy stop waiting to begin living again when and if Tim re-enters your life...to continue that way will only lead to years going by and a lonely old age.

Put yourself in the hands of God...and devote yourself to Him and honoring Him. When you do you will also honor you and your life will change for the better. Let go Paula and let God lead you! In Jesus name...Amen!