I don't mean this to be negative, but I think you need to ask yourself, when did you stop believing in God? Was it because you entered a non-christian school or that some circumstance happened in your life? I'm not protesting non-christian schools, because I've attended them and by the Grace of the Lord I have been able to retain my faith. However, if you start giving into your unbelief then your unbelief in God will grow and I think it is possible to even block out the existence of God. Psalm 41 testifies of the Lord's presence and how that everyone in the world, whether they're saved or not saved, have ever heard about Christ or not, knows that there must be something bigger than themselves. Honestly, evolution would have you to believe everything to happen by accident, when in fact if you look at the measurements in science, everything happens with such exactment that it is impossible to be convinced that the Lord didn't design such things without first ignoring your faith.

In every culture, even pegan cultures, there's at least some spiritual system in place and we once had a missionary who visited our church and he explained some rituals that were performed in the Native American Tribe that he was trying to reach. He said that they had an attonment ceremony where they gave flesh and blood sacrifices of themselves. Unfortunately, I cannot give enough detail to illustrate this well enough, but at the end of the illustration, he compared it to the story of Christ and it was evident that even in that pegan ritual, the people had evidence of the Lord! That's amazing considering the Lord can speak to people even through their sinful condition!

My guess is that something happened in your life, a time when you thought God wasn't there, and you fed it. You stopped praying for whatever reason, you stopped studying your bible, you stopped walking with God and now you don't believe in Him. If I'm wrong, then you can ignore what I'm saying--but I think we both know otherwise.

As it says in Psalms 14:1 the foolish man will say that there is no God. I think you know better and that you need to resolve whatever resentment you have with Him or else you'll continue to have a void. The Lord wants you back, because He's the friend that sticketh closer than a brother and that's why you're feeling so empty. The real question is do you want Him back?

I come in love and I realize that I have been blunt, but I think it was necessary. I hope that this answers your questions.

Lost Love