6/22/11 Its been a LONG time since I saw her. My first girlfriend named Molly (not real name). I am a preachers kid & grew up in the Midwest but later moved to west coast. While back west growing up I met Molly at my Christian high school & a relationship began. The only problem was it was a typical adolescent non-relationship relationship, based mostly on sexual attraction & "basic instincts." During the annual year-end campout by the lake where everybody gathers, she & I were in a camper, somewhat intoxicated & making out, & that was the first time , during the middle of kissing, that she moved down my chest with her tongue & kept going down, all the way until I was in her mouth, coming. It was instant sexual addiction. I had never felt anything so pleasurable. And I thought it was not sinful because we weren't having sexual intercourse. But we were too young. It wasn't healthy. This went on for a while. We never talked about it. It just happened. That's the other problem...we didn't talk much, we just engaged the flesh. Then one evening I was dropping her off at her house late at night. I drove up their long driveway & was saying goodbye, when suddenly she whispered, "come in." What?! Come in? Her mom & dad were home. She said her bedroom was in the basement & they wouldn't hear us. It was foolish but I was whipped. I followed her in. Moments later we were in her bed under the sheets. My shirt was off & I forget what was still on or off of her, but suddenly she said "shhh" . She heard something. And apparently something or somebody had heard her (or us) also. It was her MOM. She was coming down the stairs. Oh my God ! She told me to get under the bed. I said "Whaat?!" This was crazy, but I had no choice. I flipped under the bed and lay silently. Suddenly the lights went on, & Molly sat up & said, "hi mom, what's wrong?" Her mom was no fool. The next thing I knew, she was looking at me under the bed. "Get up!" She hissed. And then "Get out!" She didn't need to encourage me. I didn't even take time to put my shirt on. I was up & out the door in a micro-second, wondering if her dad was coming with a shotgun. Honestly, I don't think I was the aggressor. She had encouraged me to come in. Nonetheless, I should have had the wisdom to say no. It effectively ended our relationship...until many years later when she was about to get married (to somebody else) & wanted to make sure I wasn't interested. A mutual friend brought us together. My family had moved out west by that time & I was just visiting the midwest. I was literally dumbstruck. I did not realize until later that she was asking me to marry her. BY the time I did realize, she had married this guy. A few years later I heard she had gotten divorced & decided it was NOW OR NEVER..the time to do the right thing. I managed to get a letter thru to her, via her mom, asking her to marry me. But as they say "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned." When I didn't jump at her covert marriage proposal a few years earlier it must have closed down any future possibilities. She made it clear she wants to hear nothing further from me. That was around 2008+09 . I didn't attempt anything further (directly). And now I bring it to YOU, my fellow Christians, for prayer. I am much more mature now than I was that night under the bed 26 years ago. And I never got married. I had other relationships after Molly, some with potential, but mostly during college in Midwest. I'm back on west coast now. I think this aborted relationship with Molly has influenced me psychologically in terms of long-term relationships and ask for healing prayer. I'm actually involved in ministry now & am still open to a good, healthy, committed relationship if it is according to God's will. And I still hope some day to talk & laugh with Molly as mature adults, but I'm afraid she will never let go of the hurt & anger I caused her, UNINTENTIONALLY & really inadvertently, like a typical "stupid guy"....a numbskull at times. If she could be convinced I meant no harm & still do have affection for her (& always did) it would be a great day. But I don't think she is even active as a Christian nor open to the channels of grace, forgiveness, & spiritual healing. That comes first. And so I have to "move on" as they say, barring some kind of sudden, miraculous change of heart by Molly. I ask for your prayers. My name is Patrick. God's will be done.