I am asking for prayer for my emotional stability. I struggle with borderline personality disorder. Everything is about me and my feelings and getting other people to understand me and my feelings. I hate it. It is selfish and sinful and yet I am consumed by it so often. I suffered abuse as a child and plenty of rejection, but that was a long time ago. It still plagues me though it was years ago. I believed for awhile that God has healed me. I have a husband who rips open old wounds and I know that he doesn't want to, but I am so sensitive that it drives him crazy. I am blamed for his behavior towards me. I know that he has his own sinful issues, but I also know that this giant "Amber fest" also really is driving him crazy. I just read that low self esteem can be another form of pride. Pride says, "look at me". This disorder says, "understand me, listen to me, love me, don't leave me.. me.. me .. me..." I believe very much in Jesus, and for awhile I thought that I have defeated this disorder. But now I am starting to believe that this disorder is sin based and I am feeling even more discouraged and defeated. Even talking about it is puting the focus on me and not on God where it belongs. Please pray for me to overcome myself and keep my focus on God where it belongs. Not my own emotions that I allow to control me and destroy relationships. The only thing that is going to work is prayer, so please PLEASE pray for me. Counseling will just focus more on me. Jesus *sigh*. Thank you for loving me and forgiving me. I am nothing without you. I am certainly doomed without you. You are the best thing/person that I have ever allowed into my life and my heart. You hear my cry and I thank you. Please don't allow the enemy to mess with my mind anymore. Please heal my marriage and help me to stop shoving myself and my emotions/thoughts/opinions down his throat. He is a good man and I love him, and I know that he adores me. Thank you for him Daddy. Please don't let me destroy our relationship. I love you Father. Please help me overcome this selfishness and this pride. Help me to see others as more important than myself. And please take away the fear that lives in me. The fear that controls me so often. I love you so much Daddy. I love you. Please forgive me, help me to forgive myself, but most of all destroy my sin and help me turn away from it. In the name of Jesus Christ I pray, Amen.