MsMoutrey, when my mother died the same thing happened in the family. It's unfortunate that when someone passes, it brings out the worst in some. I have a few thoughts. First, although you feel like you lost your husband, I pray that in time you will realize that he is still very alive in your heart and that when this time passes, and it will pass, you will begin to be able to find joy in your love and memories of him. Second, sometimes all we can do about our family is pray for them on the sly. Think about it - their behaving so badly indicates that something is just not right with them. If you behaved that way (and you don't sound like you ever would, but let's just say "if") wouldn't you want someone to pray that you started to see the light and be kinder? I will pray that, too. Third, I think your husband would have peace knowing that you yourself want him to have it. He is beyond all our stuff that we do down here during life. He would want you to be happy, of course, and I will pray for that as well as a solution to your problems. Have you thought about asking someone at your church to help you figure things out? At least to talk things through? Also, make lists. Your mind is probably whirling right now, your heart probably tired from your loss. Writing things down will help you prioritize and organize.
Again, I will pray for the solution to these problems so that you can leave the family drama behind and begin on the road to healing and peace of heart. Bless you for trying so hard. I know it feels awful, when you need them most, to realize that family isn't there for you like you'd hope. But please remember God always is there for you, and if you put this in His hands, He'll carry both your burden and your heavy heart. <3