Dear Sheila. It is a lie of Satan that any of this was YOU FAULT and that you will never be enough for him. It is NOT true and the TRUTH will set you free. I pray that Jesus will lead you during this very trying time and that he will speak into John's heart and deal with him in a MASSIVE WAY. Infidelity is destroying the world and I pray that the Lord Jesus Almightly will send an army of angels to address this on earth. Sheila, you are as daughter of the Almighty God, he feels your hurt, he sees your pain, rest in him as you go through the motions. Get help - get a Christian Counsellor and talk to your minister. There is so much help out there. I know I walked the same path and God is restoring me. I pray for your marriage and for your husband to humble himself before God and realise what he has done. I bind the evil bought into your relationship and pray that God will also deal with the other woman. AMEN.