dont do it my friend. the enemy is firing arrows at you,thoughts that want you to destroy yourself or another person.remember SATAN HAS COME TO KILL STEAL AND DESTROY you need to forgive all who has hurt you and ask the lord not to give up on you concerning your need to be free from this demonic fog of darkness that is blinding your mind and soul,listen forgiving others is important as you dont want to allow a door in your life to be open so the enemy can come in and attack you. i suggest you take your eyes of your girlfriend right now and place them on Jesus as LOVE doesnt exist outside of him,remember in order for the lord to fix all of you ,you need to give him all the pieces(he cant fix your broken heart if you dont give all of your heart to him) try it my friend it takes faith to lay your life down to him but trust me he knows what is best for you and dont go listening to those firery thoughts because they belong to satan and he is the father of lies and he does not know what is best for you.