i'm so lonely, that i'd rather be dead than live a life of lonliness. im not suicidal, but if i must live 70 or 75 years alone, then i'd rather die now and get the long, agony over with. i know i'm supposed to have a wife. i have so much love to give from my heart that it is killing me inside not to be with someone. i've been scammed before and it hurts. i don't want this pain any longer. sometimes, it's almost as if my future wife and i can sense each other. i'm sure that the woman God has chosen for me will be a perfect match; that we will feel as if we've known each other our whole lives. my heart feels as if it will explode if i don't find her. i'll search for the rest of my life, even to the exclusion of all other things, just to find real and true love. my heart hurts so much that i can barely keep the tears from my eyes right now. help me.